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- August 17, 2016 at 9:49 pm #3736451
Admitted I was an alcoholic, and my life had become unmanageable.
Admitting I am an alcoholic wasn’t a problem when I got back to AA this time.
And I could really see how alcohol was calling all the shots and I didn’t have any control, I could admit my life had become unmanageable.
Acceptance became a big factor though.
Where I live, there were but few people who even mentioned the Big Book. In sentences like, “I suggest you read the Big Book.” Even go as far as stating what page “read this book,” was on. Nobody mentioning first 164 pages and the 12 Steps. 12 Step meetings were mentioned, where they read and shared from the “Twelve Steps and Twelve Tradition.” And speaker meetings consisted of “drunk-a-logs,” and after a while I could say what these people were going to say before they even said it.
What I’m trying to say is, trying to accept why I am an alcoholic was difficult. I wanted to know why was I chosen to be an alcoholic. Obviously I didn’t just decide at the age of 17 that I was going to become an alcoholic. And the best answer I could get was, “look at it this way, you drank every drink you drank, did every drug you did, did everything you did and went every place you went, to get to where you are today.”
Nobody talked about underlying causes. And about the isms I had even before I started drinking. And I wanted to know why I became an alcoholic. Was it in my genes?” My father died from alcoholism, my older brother, I didn’t know at the time, died from direct results from alcohol. My younger brother became an alcoholic and an addict and will probably be looking for help to get a liver transplant soon.
So acceptance was a little difficult to come by at first. It wasn’t until I started going to Big Book Step Study meetings that I learned about the isms and underlying cause. Which by the way helped me to get to accepting, I am an alcoholic and my life had become unmanageable.
And in my opinion, I presume this is the same for many newcomers, I’m not sure. Where I live, there aren’t enough people who have been through this process with the Big Book, that go to meetings other than Step Study, to pass on the message of recovery from the Big Book.
I have a priest to thank for informing me that there was a Big Book Step Study Meeting on Mondays at that particular church.
It is listed in the meetings list as BB12 – Big Book Step Study. Having no clue early in my recovery, just what this meant, didn’t really attract me.
We hear more about an AWOL meeting, no clue to what those letters stand for, which is a process of 12 Steps, which AA does not approve of. And listening to little bits and pieces of those meetings, didn’t attract me either.
My experience on Step 1.
HarryJune 17, 2017 at 7:23 pm #4734029
Nobody talked about underlying causes. And about the isms I had even before I started drinking. And I wanted to know why I became an alcoholic. Was it in my genes?” My father died from alcoholism, my older brother, I didn’t know at the time, died from direct results from alcohol.
So acceptance was a little difficult to come by at first.
you father died from alcohol, your bro died from alcohol your little bro is having issues? it wouldnt be too hard to accept for me, but dealing with my own a.a. problems would be my main focus. lots of good stuff in your post thx. ooh, and your tag? what i am is a gift? thats big man BIG.:c011:
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