Amends | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups


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    I have to make amends with my wife. We are going through a divorce, but we still talk. Should I do it through an email or try and sit her down and talk?



    Hi Miller-

    Have you worked the previous 8 steps with a sponsor? If you haven’t, then put off step 9 until you get to it. There’s a reason they’re in order. (I ask b/c I saw you posted in the step 1 section too).

    I had about 80 names on my step 9 amend list and I’ve got about 20 more to do. I have a lot of amends out-of-state, but even the ones who are in my area, I send them a quick, to-the-point email asking there permission to contact them to make amends. Some have requested I do it via email or even FB, but most agree to let me call.

    Any amends I’m able to do face-to-face I do.




    I don’t know that making amends during a divorce process would be a good time. Probably no matter what you did at this point, your soon to be ex would not take it seriously. Many amends need to be made over time. Could be the best thing you could do right now is just to give her space. I really don’t know though as I am not in your situation.

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