This topic contains 3 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous 8 years, 1 month ago.
- April 3, 2017 at 3:34 pm #3749243
I have not been sober for that long but I am continuously struggling when it comes to dealing with life. I love to be active and have those I love around me but everything seems so difficult with my boyfriend in my life. He lives with me..if he didn’t he would be homeless (which adds a lot of stress). All he does is consistently work which gives him an excuse to be lazy when he gets home. And when he gets home all he does is play a computer game called RIFT or WoW. If I want to hang out with my cousin’s it’s a problem because he thinks my cousin is a drunken ***** who wants to get me wasted. She’s not like that..
My everyday consists of getting up..struggling to get in the shower..struggling to get out of the shower, worrying if I am going to get my job back, making food when he is hungry…and trying so hard not to take antidepressants.
He knows that I use to abuse antidepressants but he thinks that was before we got together..he has no idea I am recently getting off them again.
I would love to go out and have fun but all of my friends I know are horrible influences and all they talk about is drugs..so I deleted all of my friends numbers out of my phone except for my family members and my boyfriend..I even went as far as shutting off my cell phone when they call and try to sell me Xanax, Valium, ect. I would go out and have fun but I would be doing it by myself and my neighborhood is not a place that you want to be alone in.
I get up early everyday and I have been trying with everything I have to sleep the whole day away..but I can only make it until 9:30 rarely 10. I do see a therapist..he is the only one who will not put me on medication, but sometimes he just doesn’t help..I do everything he asks and I still feel so low.
I am so depressed I do not know what to do with myself.April 3, 2017 at 3:55 pm #4911189
I have friends who people consider to be a bad influence on me, but that isn’t how I see it – I know that I make my own choices. I am very anxious a lot of the time, which is partly the reason I can’t get clean and sober, because it’s the only way I know right now to deal with it, and the thought of not having it terrifies me.
I have cut out so many people to try and help the situation, and others have cut me out because I was a nightmare to be around. Most days I feel terrible, and just stay indoors.
I can relate to a lot you have said. It’s horrible at times, but you’ll be ok 🙂April 3, 2017 at 5:34 pm #4911186
You’re posting in the NA forum, lovely08. Have you been to a meeting, or have you considered going? There, I found others who were living clean–happy, joyous and free lives–and they were able to teach me how.
Peace & Love,
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