could use some 9th step help | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups - Part 2

could use some 9th step help

This topic contains 9 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 8 years, 6 months ago.

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    i do still talk w/ her………….pretty one side, to say
    “I (at this point) am a bank roll to her”
    and due to the guilt, I have partially allowed this to be the case.
    Having gotten sober the beginning of this year…..all of that monetary guilt thing has become frightfully obvious to me.



    din, stop living in the guilt. I did the same thing when I was drinking and for some time after quitting. You’re enabling her to continue her bad behavior by bankrolling her. Treat her as an adult. If she wants to harbor the resentment, let her. The ninth step says “made direct amends wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.” If she doesn’t want to accept your amend, or you’re unable to make the amend, treat her the same as you would anyone else. Make the amend when possible and until then, do what’s best for you. Let it go and stay sober. She’ll either come around or she won’t.



    You won’t drink unless you want to drink over it

    ya know……….and at the end of the day, thats it in a nutshell.
    I was VERY leary at posting “personal” garb……..but sincerely glad I did. You (all) gave me
    some food for thought.
    the good kind……not the crap “I” bounce around in my own head (lol)

    I meet w/ my sponsor today again………gonna touch base on the subject again.
    I dont want this thing lingering over me (and I feel thats what I’m letting it do)

    she moved back into the state I live in…………..and I’m deathfully afraid she will show up on our doorstep christmas day………..

    and “yet” my personal meditation’s remind me “its in gods hands,..AND……his will NOT mine”
    boy I struggle with that one………

    gives me something to work on tho, which means I am still “work in progress”

    and THAT I like 🙂

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