Discussion and Sharing Welcomed! | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups - Part 3

Discussion and Sharing Welcomed!

This topic contains 18 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 9 years, 4 months ago.

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    Matinee, my defects included being selfish, self-centered, ego-centric, judgmental, intolerant of others defects, being a martyr instead of facing problems……I don’t see anything there that would defend me.

    Another thing I learned doing 4 & 5 is that not everyone is out to get me. In my mind they are, but in reality they are just people with problems, just like me…..



    I don’t think my H.P. would remove a defect I still needed. H.P. would guide me to healthier thinking so I could let go of them when ready.



    “Although some of us have not understood the critical importance of the Sixth & Seventh Steps, they are essential actions that must be taken if we expect to make significant and lasting changes in our lives. We cannot simply say, “Yes, I’m ready, God, please remove my defects” and go on to Step Eight. If we gloss over the 6th and 7th Steps and go on to make our amends, we will only wind up owing more amends by repeating the same destructive patterns as before.

    The lifelong process of the 6th Step is just that – a process. We’ve started the process of becoming entirely ready, and we will strive to increase our readiness throughout our lifetime. Our state of readiness grows in direct proportion to our awareness of these defects and the destruction they cause.

    Defects and/or shortcomings may often be referred to as “long-goings” because it takes many of us just that to be able to accurately identify them…let alone become entirely ready to have them removed. Our character defects are basic human traits that have been distorted out of proportion by our self-centeredness, causing enormous pain to us and those around us. Sometimes our readiness to have our character defects removed depends on what we call them. If misnaming our defects makes them seem less ‘defective’, we may be unable to see the damage they cause. And if they seem to be causing no harm, why would we ever ask our Higher Power to remove them from our lives? Although “people pleasing” may not sound harmful, the reality is that we’re dishonest and manipulative – lying about our feelings, beliefs and needs in order to soothe others into compliance with out wishes. “Easygoing” is often a softer term used for fear, procrastination or laziness.

    “Why ask for something before we are ready for it?” is the first thing asked in Step 6 of the Basic Text, and I contend that we need to know what we are asking for, before we ask. With willingness being the primary principle of Step 6, we must remember that part of the process of becoming entirely ready involves PRACTICING constructive behavior and remembering that we are human and should not place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. We surrender to the simple suggestions that the program offers us, and even though we may not be fully aware if we’re entirely ready…by putting our willingness into action, we are headed in the right direction.”


    (combined excerpts from the NA Basic Text, Just For Today, NA Step working Guide and It Works: How & Why)

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