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- January 15, 2017 at 3:47 am #4839061
@dratsab 2824262 wrote:
When I finally went into recovery, step 1 was easy for me. I knew that I, on my own, was completely and totally powerless over my addiction. My question is if you all think that this is always true throughout recovery. Will we always be completely powerless against our addiction?
I feel like I’m developing some good tools to battle my addiction. And they are working. So, I don’t feel so powerless. I don’t think addiction is something I can ever totally defeat, but I still feel empowered.
Big Book has a great line “Lack of power, that was our dilemma”
Here are some considerations I sat with:
When i put the drink into my system do i have the POWER to control it?
When I am seperated from alcohol does my mind have the power to stay away? ie- play the old tape through, remember the damage my drinking bouts caused etc
Do I have the power to not be restless, irritable, discontent and all over page 52?
On my own power I cant pull thes eoff. If I could, I wouldnt be in AA.
Now, after going through the process in the Big Book and having a spiritual experience sufficient to overcome alcoholism, this is where I am:
I have gained access to a Power which has given me freedom. I am no longer in fear constantly, i no longer suffer from depression, I am no longer restless irritable and discontent, I try to pack into the stream of life. As a result of this my mind doesnt get the insane idea that I can drink and then i will never suffer from the allergy because I will not put it into my system.
I have been given great Power.
Last, My Step 1 Experience today is that I must continue to work the Steps with the desperation of a drowning man because if I dont, unmanagability will return and so will the alcoholic insanity, and then I will be drunk before I know it, so my first Step Experience is what keeps me going through this on a day to day basis.January 15, 2017 at 2:30 pm #4839071
@timetolive 2829119 wrote:
I am just starting the 12 steps. I have not had a drink in 5 days. Although I completely accept step 1 right now at this moment and it’s actually given me a small sense of freedom I haven’t felt in so many years, I fear overconfidence in myself will lead to my forgetting it, so I am spending time working it- on paper- even though I feel ready for step 2. I am going to AA and I hear over and over from so many there that living steps 1, 10, 11, and 12 daily is what keeps them sober. I am very new to this so what do I know? But I am listening intently!!!!
Thanks to everyone for their stories and insights. Not one that I hear doesn’t hold some similarity to my own. Fills me with a hope that I have not had in years. VERY very cool.
I had the same sense of freedom you had when I first went into recovery. And I also had the same concerns from day one that one day I will become overly confident and would make a stupid decision that would undo all the work I’ve done. So I made a mental inventory of all the times I had struggled with alcohol and drugs. I thought about the time I had three years of “controlled” drinking… and how I ended back up doing drugs and to uncontrolled drinking.
So I guess in a way, I did parts of step 1. And it comes in handy every time I want to go back to using. I’m able to remind myself of how serious my situation is and how using just doesn’t work for me.
Despite what some people have said about my goal or intentions were in this post, I actually read everything everyone said with an open mind. And I really feel like I’ve got a better understanding about what step one is all about. I hope anyone who reads this thread will be able to do the same.January 16, 2017 at 9:26 pm #4839082
To all the folks on here that have managed to quit, I salute you. I haven’t even tried yet but that is my goal this week. I was in great physical shape, running and lifting weights, until about two years ago and the poison gradually took me down. I have lost all interest in doing anything but drinking. I have two awesome children and my son and I hunted every weekend for years but now I sit on the couch all weekend drinking and I am losing respect from my children. I wish there was a magic pill you could take to make this all go away. I know it will be a hard battle, I can’t even remember the last day I went all day without a buzz unless I had the flu or something. I would love to wake up in the morning and feel great, but I never do anymore.
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