This topic contains 8 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous 9 years, 4 months ago.
- December 17, 2015 at 11:43 pm #4580010
I suggest to my sponsees that they make 3 columns for the amends based on time frame:
Now, Later, Never
Place the names in the appropriate column and start with the nows. The easier ones go in the now, the harder in Later and then Never. These are the ones I am willing to do right away. I did it this way and it helped me. I found that the laters became sooner because of the results of the first group. If I was reluctant, I asked for the willingness. These were the ones in the third group.
Before I went to make the amend, I looked over my 4th step then talked to my sponsor about the amend. I found that as I progressed through the groups, willingness came for all amends, including the nevers. I walked through the fear and in the end obtained the freedom that only amends can provide.
There was one amend that could have affected my family, and after talking with them about the possible consequences, and with approval, I went ahead and made that final amends. The amend could have been jail and the loss of my livelihood. However, the end result was an invitation to the annual BBQ from the principle involved.December 18, 2015 at 2:46 pm #4580007
I was free of resentment by the time I got to amends. It doesn’t do any good to make amends to someone if you still resent them, if you do the amends is a lie.
If you are feeling guilty it is probably because you have good reason to. If a person doesn’t wake up to the harm they’ve caused others and not feel some guilt and remorse, something is wrong with them. Be aware too, that there are some things you’ll simply have to live with.
“I am praying for willingness to make these amends and willingness to trust my Higher Power with this process.”
I remember asking my sponsor how would I know when I was willing to make amends. He said “You’ll hear a really funny noise.” I asked what that would sound like. He said “:Like this:” and rapped his knuckles on the table KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Here is a prayer you can use, but don’t say it if you don’t really want to know, because it will mess with you:
Please show if the these unfinished amends have anything to do with me drinking again.”
AmenJanuary 25, 2016 at 3:33 am #4580014
i’m totally stressing over my 8th and 9th step cuz i already know that i don’t want to make an amends to my ex-husband because he is still doing things to hurt me. i KNOW i have to get past that to get through these steps but i’m hanging on to this resentment like i can’t believe… i’ve tried to process it over and over and i’ve prayed about it a lot but it’s just still there… i just don’t know what to do… i guess i’m just not willing to let go of it yet but that causes a problem to my serenity so i better figure this one out very soon…
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