Emotions While Working on Step 8 and 9 | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups - Part 3

Emotions While Working on Step 8 and 9

This topic contains 8 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 9 years, 4 months ago.

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    Hi Juliette,do put out of your mind Step 9 completely while you are doing Step 8.

    All of us have someone in our life who causes us problems in recovery. The steps enable us to live life with them not changing but not having the power to hurt us any more. Surely that is what you want with your ex? Or as you say you don’t want to let go, do you want to carry on hurting over this?

    I really suggest you read and follow the instructions on P552 of the Big Book (actually read the whole story as well) for two weeks as it says. My guess is at the moment you are praying and handing it over but you are praying for yourself – well that never works.

    We only pray for ourselves if that is for the benefit of others. Start by praying for your ex for everything you want for yourself. The words may choke in your throat at first but do perservere. Eventually you will learn that you cannot pray for someone and feel resentment towards them.

    Also I replied in the other forum that you need to look at Step 1 over issues with food. This is all linked into why you are stuck at Step 8. You have to do all the other steps properly first. It’s about being completely honest with yourself.
    take care.


    The one thing I’ve warned people about is be prepared for a negative response,…
    sometimes if we don’t get the response we hope for we fall back.
    Others have the right to their own thoughts and feelings and sometimes people aren’t too forgiving,….
    which you need to be okay with so you can move forward,……… :c033:

    and don’t forget to include yourself on that list. :c014:



    yeah..i’m wondering if I have expectations…maybe I’m not really ready to make that amend….just considering that…

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