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- October 28, 2016 at 3:28 pm #4782646
@keithj 2748692 wrote:
Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us?
boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh BOY……… has it EVER!!!
Sometimes I look back at my actions, half in shock and half in awe.
— In shock: that I tried to play God… got an explosion in my face / got hurt…then picked right back up tried it again, and again, and AGAIN.
— In awe: at my resilience, ability to take the pain and my complete inability (sometimes) to be able to see what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
love that phrase on p62: DRIVEN by a 100 forms of fear…..
I thought I was making “choices” in my life. Turns out I was driven.
This is fun – look up driven then look up choose in the dictionary: here’s the LINK.
I wasn’t “choosing” much……I was (and still am a lot of the time) DRIVEN. Thank GOD I don’t have to figure out how to stop all this nonsense.October 28, 2016 at 3:49 pm #4782647
@keithj 2748692 wrote:
When I follow all of my fears down whatever path they take, they boil down to a small handful of root fears
For sure! I’ve not found a fear yet that hasn’t boiled down to “I won’t be happy.” — which takes me right back up to self-reliance and playing God. The only retort I’ve found is to have not only faith in God, I need to TRUST Him as well. I need to be willing to get into the wheelbarrow – as Bob D says. And since I really don’t fully trust God with much….the only way I can develop that trust is to try it from time to time – dip my toes into the water so to speak. No more contempt prior to investigation. I need to start trying and acting as if.
The coolest thing.. He hasn’t let me down yet. Not even once that I can think of. Now don’t get me wrong, God doesn’t jump when I tell Him to jump…..I usually have to wait (longer than I want to) and, in the meantime, be content with things as they are (which I don’t like to do) and I still have to do my best to be my best…..but He’s always come through.October 28, 2016 at 4:06 pm #4782641
@bballdad 2749286 wrote:
That fear is deep ingrained and the root cause of my resentments and sex conduct also.
@DayTrader 2749698 wrote:
not only faith in God, I need to TRUST Him as well. I need to be willing to get into the wheelbarrow
Real nice stuff, guys. I’m blessed to be in your company.
This is the two-fold aspect. I’m driven by fear (problem) in all my personal relationships and interactions. I can’t help but get resentful and treat others like crap when I’m so scared of what might happen if I don’t get my way. And trust, developed through action, is the only cure (solution).
I absolutely have to let go of those expectations and give up trying to force them. The small action of reliance on a higher power is the only way I can let go (works right back to Step 3 and on down to powerless).
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