first AA — didn’t feel right

This topic contains 18 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 7 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #3753993

    Anonymous

    i just came back from my first ever meeting.
    perhaps i am jumping to conclusion too fast, but the whole thing just didn’t feel right for me. i couldn’t identify with the speaker and even some nice people whom i’ve met afterwards.

    overall, i had a feeling that it simply wasn’t for me. everyone told me to keep coming back, to give it more time (and that makes perfect sense)… i just don’t know if this is something that i can be comfortable with. the whole atmosphere felt a little depressing and was more of a reminder to drink than not to.

    how many people were able to quit without attending meetings?
    i feel like going to the gym (where there’s obviously no alcohol) or simply for a run does a lot more for me than any number of meetings ever would.

    however, at the same time, it makes me question why i have relapsed so many times in the past? is it because i didn’t have the right support? or i simply didn’t “wake up” to realize that i do have an unmanageable problem, and moderation is not an option for me.

    in some way i feel that posting here gives me more of a relief and support, than any meeting would…

    #4968714

    sheripie1037
    Member

    These feelings are quite normal.

    More than anything, meetings are a place to meet new sober friends. Which is extremely beneficial. Because who would you likely hang around with otherwise? People you drank/used with.

    I agree: I like going to the gym. It helps me a lot.

    And I’ve left meetings feeling like drinking. But sometimes I’ve left meetings feeling MUCH better than I did when I went in.

    Some meetings are better than others. It gets better with time, as well.

    Don’t give up on meetings so soon.

    #4968706

    JB2317
    Member

    Serious,

    I think you should do whatever works for you. I don’t use AA, but many find it helpful. I think support is important for recovery, and I have found support here at 12 Step National Meetings to be wonderful. I began to take long walks after supper (a difficult time for me) and found that so helpful on many different levels. I have learned that for me, balance is the key.

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