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    thank you all for the quick replies. i honestly don’t want to give up quick, i might come back another day (one problem is that the timing really conflicts with my job, unfortunately i cannot leave work to go to a meeting… maybe only once in a while).

    i am grateful that i have people around me who would never force me to drink, and even those that i used to get drunk with completely understand and support my decision. one of my best friends, who i constantly drank with… and who was around to give me moral support over a pretty rough weekend actually said that it may not be a bad idea for him to “take a break”. i was shocked. guess my mineral water looked too appealing for him 🙂

    it’s raining a little, but i am about to go out for a light jog/walk (still not enough strength to do much else)… but still it’s a great way to fight anxiety and get the spirits up. any sort of exercise has never failed me in this area, that’s for sure.



    Well, I looked at it this way…nothing else worked. I felt worse in my ‘past life’ and AA is a postive sobering experience.
    You may not have gotten anything out of it ‘this’ time. Not every meeting is going to swipe you off your feet and give you a V8 moment. Recovery is a work in progress. You can go to the gym AND go to AA. It doesn’t have to be one or the other and both maybe very benficial to you.
    Once I started sharing more and getting to know my friends I realized that I wasn’t just there for me…it was a group effort. We are there for each other and each one can lean on the next.
    You may not have felt comfortable but the seed was planted. In a day, a week or a month you may recall something that speaker said and you just may have a V8 moment.



    @hatman231 3006921 wrote:

    What you are not is unique. Many have had the feelings you have had. Why did you go to a meeting? Whats the Problem? Can you beat it by youself? Also, there are a bunch of meetings out there. If the group you went to depresses you then try some different meetings. AA is about growth. Some meetings can be bitch sessions or “pity party” meetings. Look for groups embracing positive values and growth. Support is the key if you find you cannot quit drinking on your own.

    a friend of a friend (really) of mine suggested i should go. i am willing to try anything to beat this thing; i wanted to see what it was like.

    by no means am i knocking down the benefits that so many people have experienced. and perhaps i will come back again, maybe i need to be in the right frame of mind, maybe i should try another place. (perhaps today simply wasn’t *it*)… regardless i am not willing to give up on sobriety.

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