AA NA CA 12 Step Meetings & Anonymous Support Groups › Forums › Newcomers to Recovery › first AA — didn’t feel right
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- June 21, 2017 at 2:45 am #4968708
I don’t ‘do’ AA but I thinks it’s natural that anything new and confronting like this will feel a little uncomfortable at first.
I’d give anything more than one go. As others have said, there are lots of groups and lots of different kinds meetings. There’s also doing the Steps to consider.
Going to the gym is great and good health is a part of everything – but I used to confuse that with working on my recovery…
I would go on health kicks whenever I wasn’t drinking…but I still went back drinking.
I needed more.
DJune 21, 2017 at 2:54 am #4968724
Funny, I left the second meeting I went to (yesterday) feeling exactly the same. It couldn’t have been more different than the first one. It was over a dozen men in a room, I was the only woman, and most of them had been around for awhile. They were totally gruff and kind of overbearing. I felt completely uncomfortable as I was the only woman and the youngest person by at least 15 years in the room. I didn’t identify with what they said and felt totally uncomfortable talking. There’s nothing wrong with those guys at all and it’s not their fault there were no other women there, or younger people, or that it was a stretch for me to follow them, or that they had been going to and reading at and chairing AA meetings for longer than I’ve been alive (they read the beginning statements, readings, etc they way kids recite something they have to get over and done with) …if that had been the first meeting, I would have never come back.
As it was I only stayed because I knew that listening to others that I can’t identify with- ie looking at others not as a mirror image of myself but as whole people who are entirely different than I am, but share the same tendencies and ultimate calling, is a much better way to approach my life than to continue to shut them out and isolate. I thought about it all day today. I got something at the first meeting (ironically a women’s meeting) which felt really good. I think they call it fellowship. The tension at the second one kind of made me look at my judgments. This is my experience- not saying it’s the same for you. I didn’t go to a meeting today because of my schedule. But I have lots in my mind so I am going to try to go tomorrow.June 21, 2017 at 3:13 am #4968710
I have to agree with serious. I attended about ten meetings at different locations and different times and I left feeling like I didn’t fit in. Most of the stories I heard were beyond extreme. I felt bad for the people there.
After listening to their accounts I questioned if my two drinks a night was a joke to consider myself an alcoholic. Well, two drinks the way I pour them equals a bottle a week of gin.
This combined with a spouse who said I was fine and was over thinking my alcohol use led me to go back to the bottle.
I now get that the fact I needed to drink was obsessed to drink was enough to stop this madness. So I think support groups are great and this one is very good and “normal” in the sharing that allows me to relate.
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