AA NA CA 12 Step Meetings & Anonymous Support Groups › Forums › Newcomers to Recovery › Going to my first meeting tonight
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- June 20, 2017 at 10:55 pm #3753985
Today has been a rough day. Dog woke me up at 4:30 am and been up and out of bed ever since. Husband is gone again for the week for work.
I’m sure the fact that I’m tired and off kilter has something to do with my weakness. The past 15 days have been ok, felt great, got alot done, no real burning desire to drink.
But today, I feel weak. I knew it wasn’t going to be a cakewalk so I’m going to go and check out a meeting this evening. I tried AA awhile back in my 20’s and I didn’t like it, but maybe it will be different this time.
I came *this close* to buying a bottle of wine today at the supermarket but talked myself out of it. I know that if I choose to consume, I’ll be wracked with guilt and hate and anger at myself, cause that’s how I am. I would probably pick up the phone later tonight and call people when I’m buzzed. I would skip dinner instead of eating something healthy. I would pass out and not sleep well. And I would be hungover in the morning. And with the alcohol still in my system, I’d wanna start it all over again. And I’d hate myself.
Isn’t it weird that with all of these results that are seen so crystal clear are almost not enough to keep me from doing it?
So – I looked up a meeting and I’m going. I have to think I’ll feel better after I go.
Scared to post this but it holds me accountable. Without 12 Step National Meetings and everything I have learned from everyone so far, I know that I wouldn’t have made it today, so thanks. I only have a few more hours left in the day until I go to sleep. It can be done.
I’m a little anxious about the meeting but I need some more tools, I guess.June 20, 2017 at 11:01 pm #4968656
Great choice. You stand a much better chance of recovery if you are willing to do anything to get and stay sober.June 20, 2017 at 11:54 pm #4968661
Way to go Bratnik! Great work on passing up the wine and on posting here. We all want to see you get through the day!
Keep busy, focus on the moment and keep playing the movie right through to the end so that you can visualize all the negatives that will come from that one decision.
I posted this earlier on another thread but will post again here.
Ask yourself this:
If death is certain and only the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?
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