I am coming off of a 4 day bender…….. | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups

I am coming off of a 4 day bender……..



This topic contains 13 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 8 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #3752497

    Anonymous

    I can’t believe myself and how much alcohol has ruined my life……… let me start by saying……. f*ck……

    let’s see…..I drove drunk, slept for only 4 hours at a time and immediately started drinking when I woke up…… I can’t beleive I’m alive right now……. in fact while I was drunk and at a hotel, I was SERIOUSLY debating jumping off of 4 story balcony because I thought I was Batman….. :c029:

    I did some seriously shameful things this last weekend……

    wanna know the most shameful part……. I’m 32 years old, yes that’s right I’m doing things high schoolers do at the age of 32………

    So I’m sipping slowly on a beer right now so I don’t die from withdrawal like I almost did this morning….. I had some serious panic attacks and thought I was going to blackout/have a heart attack……..

    I eventually ended up at an AA meeting crying ……… My boss heard I had some panic attacks and thought I went to the hospital and not AA. I’ve been through rehab 2 times already…….. I’m not allowed to drink now after rehab (I’m in the military) He asked if I had drank this weekend…….. I didn’t want to lie and told him yes……… now I think I’m going to be separated for all I’ve done………….

    fml

    Oh and I spent probably 600 dollars on all the crazy **** I did…….. We just got paid…….and now I took out every penny I have and can’t pay rent if I want to have gas money for the next 2 weeks…..

    I can’t explain how much I drank because I can’t remember everything I did this weekend from yelling at people on the street to just being a totally A-hole when I’m drunk 🙁

    When I’m sober….. I’m athletic, fun, happy, and nice……I’m the opposite when I drink.

    So when I wake up tomorrow I gotta sober up again and figure out what the hell just happened….. my mind is a scrambled mess right now…..

    I’m so f*cked….. I’m going to lose my car, my apartment…… everything when I get kicked out…….

    I’ve lost so many relationships, time and money……….. yet….the voice in my head says it’s still ok to drink…..I can handle it….. now that’s ******* crazy…….

    Oh yea…… and I cried in a Waffle House because I told my friend “you’re dead to me” and then I ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD LATER ON….. then I told them I was going to burn the place down after I sat and waiting on food for 30 min and I thought that was far too long

    I’m ashamed of what I’ve become……. 🙁 fml



    #4952180

    Anonymous

    I know where you are right now and it’s not a good place man.
    Time to regain some sanity.
    Welcome to 12 Step National Meetings.



    #4952183

    Anonymous

    There is a solution. There’s also a life after alcohol and a way out of whatever “hole” you might have dug for yourself.

    The first step is pretty much a diagnosis of hopelessness, at first, but then step 2 suggests there is some hope. There is. You’ll find it here and elsewhere as you pursue sobriety.

    Thank you for your service. If there’s anything I can do to be of service to you as you seek out sobriety, do let me know.



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