I know I am powerless, so why do I forget it? | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups

I know I am powerless, so why do I forget it?



This topic contains 13 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 8 years, 4 months ago.

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  • #3736279

    Anonymous

    I have worked the first step twice now– once at my rehab, and again with my sponsor. I will be doing it a third time now because I have continued to relapse. My sponsor wants me to do 90 in 90 and THEN start working the steps again. I have not strung together 90 days since I was pregnant. I am trying to take it slow though, and work through this period without getting ahead of myself.

    However, I do want some help preparing for my first step. I need to know why making this admission, that I am powerless and my life has become unmanageable, doesn’t seem to sway me from using. I get in a state where I just want to live out my powerless, unmanageable life, as high as humanly possible.

    What can I add in my admission to help me to earnestly NOT want to go back to using? How can I use this step to make myself realize how miserable I will be without staying clean?



    #4731530

    TARAGILES
    Member

    When my desire to stay clean became greater than the desire to use, I wanted to learn how to live a different way.

    Making an admission was only the first part for me. The next was to accept it.

    Keep coming back,
    Missy



    #4731529

    Anonymous

    Making an admission was only the first part for me. The next was to accept it.

    That’s the hit, Missy!

    Just because we admit something doesn’t mean we have fully accepted the reality of it. I’ve had a couple of sponsees that had to start over at Step 1 after a relapse. Why? Because they apparently missed that simply stating that you’re powerless doesn’t mean you know that you are…and the relapse proves that their surrender was conditional. Another part of step one is getting honest with yourself about how bad you want to stay clean.



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