LIVING THE 4th | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups

LIVING THE 4th



This topic contains 3 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 8 years, 2 months ago.

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  • #3749124

    Anonymous

    OK folks I need some ideas/thoughts/pearls for this alkies dysfunctional area between the ears. My problem is insight when I’m disturbed by one or more of my defects. My problem is that a lot of times I’ll react to a situation too quickly and say something that’s realy not appropriate. Lets say my DW suggests a purchase of some item we can afford, my reaction might be the old one is good enough in a tone or manner she calls insensitive.
    I see what I call pearls on occasion that help, but not enough. HELP!



    #4909290

    jacque
    Member

    Good that you’ve recognized that as part of your inventory. Since this is in the fourth step forum, you might find that if you do some digging you can discover why it is you do that.

    As far as what to do…..a lot of “defects” I just have to be more conscious of and work more diligently on. Not every one of them just “goes away” once we get sober, inventory them and ask for help.

    As was suggested over and over and over to me……(and I found it helpful)……do some writing on that one……why you think you do it, what your payoff is, why you think it’s ok to talk to your wife the way you want to vs. the way she wants you to……etc. I bet you’ll find some interesting stuff in there. I sure did. 🙂



    #4909291

    Anonymous

    @visch1 2919075 wrote:

    OK folks I need some ideas/thoughts/pearls for this alkies dysfunctional area between the ears. My problem is insight when I’m disturbed by one or more of my defects. My problem is that a lot of times I’ll react to a situation too quickly and say something that’s realy not appropriate. Lets say my DW suggests a purchase of some item we can afford, my reaction might be the old one is good enough in a tone or manner she calls insensitive.
    I see what I call pearls on occasion that help, but not enough. HELP!

    Sounds like a good step 11 review in the book may be helpful…

    We pause when agitated…(p.87, 4th edition)

    pause, breathe, pray…God save me from being angry.

    :You_Rock_

    I thought of a couple of other things…as I think about being mean to another, snapping at them…(I can relate!)

    Reminds me of the part in How it works…about how we can be mean, self centered….might consider that.

    Also…the consequences of us being mean…

    12&12 p.91, Step Ten

    One unkind tirade or one willful snap judgment can ruin our relation with another person for a whole day, or maybe a whole year.



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