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- April 8, 2015 at 5:56 pm #3716166
Made a list and became willing to the list.
I sometimes transfer the names onto 3×5 cards and stack them in order of how I’ll do them and get rid of the card when I’m done. You can put the harm done and also jot down what you might offer as retribution as well. But be willing to let them tell you what that retribution is as well.
For example, I tore part of a nice hotel to pieces in a drunken rage.
The next day when I bonded out of jail and walked back to the hotel, I hit the ATM and got $100.00 out and walked up to the front desk and asked for the manager. The manager came up and I introduced myself as the person who went hog-wild the night before in a drunken rage, explained that although I didn’t remember most of it, I was there to do what I had to do to set right the wrong and handed her the $100.00 and asked if I could settle up the rest of the damages at $100.00 / month until it was paid off.
She said, “Well thank you. We’ll work with you on this. But first, I need to tell you that you’re never welcome here again.” I agreed. Then she went and wrote up a paper for me to sign that said that I’d pay the balance of about $800.00 until it was paid off and that I’d leave my credit card number in case I ever fell behind of the payments. From mine and others’ recollection of what all I did that night, this was a deal! 😎
So again, I jumped ahead a step! I do that sometimes. But I say that to say this; come with an intent to set right the wrong. Sometimes it comes in handy. Hopefully, you have something back in your 4th column or to the right of your 3rd column to get clear on the harm.August 27, 2015 at 11:18 am #4471301
Those who were harmed by my drinking were mostly my family. But the one person harmed the most by my drinking was ME. So making amends to myself is going to involve forgiving myself, which is hard for me to do. I am my own worst critic and my own worst enemy. I will write letters to those I’ve harmed, mostly my kids, but forgiving myself will be the hardest amends to make.:sorryAugust 27, 2015 at 12:37 pm #4471291
Least, if I were you, I’d re think that. Making amends to others is making amends to yourself.
You find forgiveness for yourself through forgiving others. Sew up the loose ends, so to speak.
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