Made a list | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups - Part 7

Made a list



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  • #4471297

    Townes0520
    Member

    Ammends is much more than apologizing.

    The book says something along the lines of “We are neither scraping nor servile.”
    http://www.aabigbookonline.com

    Ammends is repairing the harm, or at least making it clear that we are willing to do what it takes to repair. Most of the time I had to ask these people face to face what it would take to do so.

    It was much more than asking for forgiveness…I had been asking for things my whole life. It was about doing.



    #4471308

    Anonymous

    I have a question – my last resentment inventory from earlier this year contains a lot of people I never said a word to – I just sat and stewed on them. A lot of people in AA who “weren’t acting according to my standards”. But me being the person full of fear, I never said a word to them (thank God), and a lot of them don’t even know who I am.

    Is there an amend to be made? “Excuse me sir/ma’am, you don’t know me, you’ve probably just seen me at meetings, but for the longest time I couldn’t stand you, in fact I hated you – can I set right this wrong?”

    Seems like injury to others to me.

    I’ve been making amends like the hounds of hell are on me for months now – and they keep coming up in my meditations, adding to the list. It is daunting, but I have no choice, I asked for God to put me on this path to save my life.

    Anyway just wondering about the “silent scorn” amends or not.



    #4471298

    Townes0520
    Member

    @Puddy 2376581 wrote:

    I have a question – my last resentment inventory from earlier this year contains a lot of people I never said a word to – I just sat and stewed on them. A lot of people in AA who “weren’t acting according to my standards”. But me being the person full of fear, I never said a word to them (thank God), and a lot of them don’t even know who I am.

    Is there an amend to be made? “Excuse me sir/ma’am, you don’t know me, you’ve probably just seen me at meetings, but for the longest time I couldn’t stand you, in fact I hated you – can I set right this wrong?”

    Seems like injury to others to me.

    I’ve been making amends like the hounds of hell are on me for months now – and they keep coming up in my meditations, adding to the list. It is daunting, but I have no choice, I asked for God to put me on this path to save my life.

    Anyway just wondering about the “silent scorn” amends or not.

    “Except when to do so would injure them or others.”

    I sense that approaching people, telling them that you hated them even though they didn’t know it, and then trying to ammend a harm they were not aware of in the first place is not what god would have you do.

    How about: Listening to them. Getting to know them. Talk to them.

    It’s like people who you used to talk poorly about behind their back (and they were not aware of it). The ammend there is to start saying nice things about them…

    The silent scorn was all about you. Not them.



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