Making amends to those unaware | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups - Part 3

Making amends to those unaware

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    “Does making this amend have anything to do with whether or not you’ll drink again?”

    That’s a question my first sponsor posed to me when I was at that balking point. And then he showed me on pg 76 where it says, ‘remember we agreed to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.’

    sugErspun wrote:
    God makes the ammend possible.

    For reasons that don’t matter, I shot out the back window of this guy’s truck once. I’m sure he didn’t know me or know why that had happened when he saw it. A couple years later I get sober, walk into a meeting, and there sits the owner of this truck. Even though he didn’t recognize me, I shrank in my seat. Little old guy with 30 some years of sobriety. When the time came, I went to him and told him that a couple years before I shot the window out of his truck. I handed him a check for the cost of a replacement window, told him how wrong I had been, and asked if there was anything else I could do to set things right. All he wanted to know was a reason why, in case he’d done me some harm that justified my actions.

    I’ve been able to say hello and give him a hug every time I see him since then, instead of hiding away with shame and guilt. Today I have freedom I wouldn’t have known without making that amend.



    On the radio yesterday they were talking about a story in the papers of an elderly couple who had a garden gnome delivered to their home with a note saying from someone saying they had stolen it many years previously, they apologised explaining it was a prank.

    Immediately I thought, it must be someone making a Step 9 amends but either they have missed the “direct” part of it, they were not willing enough, or they felt more harm would be done if they owned up directly.

    Now if this was a Step 9 amends, I wonder how that person is feeling now. Has the shame and guilt been removed by making the amends indirectly? Is the amends enough to keep them sober?

    Considering the story has now been printed in national newspapers and talked about on national radio, I wonder if the person just wishes they had knocked on the door, owned up and asked what they could do to make amends?



    OMG intention…i’ve got a trip to make to your area of the world…stolen milk money from an appartment complex….

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