This topic contains 2 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous 9 years, 2 months ago.
- April 8, 2016 at 8:59 am #3729912
Hi my name _________, and I’m an addict. I’ve been sober for 4 years with a 2 year stretch before my last relapse. I’ve gone up to step six in AA, but never have I gone through the steps completely. I am horrible with sustaining a relationship, and yet I’m always keeping my eyes open for the next hostage. I know I need to work the steps, and my sponsor recommended the NA way. That’s why I decided to post this under the NA forum. But my question is, has anyone, once completely going through the steps, had feelings of obssession for another person? I know I was obsessed with drugs, so doesn’t that cross over to other things once the drug is taken away? I don’t obsess over anything else, and it’s somewhat mild compared to the clynical diagnosis that I’ve read on the internet, but I know that could be minimizing. Any input would be nice. Thank you.June 23, 2016 at 10:17 pm #4649429
wow…well, the first step is….you see the FEELING of it…that is a good step….have you read any co-dependency books from MELODY BEATTIE….you may see something there with your behaviour of sorts….contact me if you wish….June 25, 2016 at 6:28 pm #4649427
I’ve been sober for 4 years with a 2 year stretch before my last relapse.
Wow…that confused the heck out of me! LOL!! Does that mean you haven’t had a drink in 4 yrs, but went 2 yrs without another form of drug?
Anyway…you’ve admitted a lot about yourself here in the Step 1 forum and if you already know you’re horrible at sustaining a relationship and always looking for a “hostage,” then maybe starting the steps over with a different sponsor and going deeper in your next 4th step might help. The questions that come to my mind are  why are you still trying to have relationships,  and why are you looking for hostages?
But my question is, has anyone, once completely going through the steps, had feelings of obssession for another person?
Having gone through the steps more than once, I’ll have to say that I’ve had several instances of having a “fixed idea” regarding another person. Thankfully, I learned early on that I don’t have to act on every thought that comes into my head. And by sharing what I think or feel with a sponsor or someone I can trust, I allow others to help me get restored to sanity…especially when my thinking is out of whack or based on fantasy.
I know I was obsessed with drugs, so doesn’t that cross over to other things once the drug is taken away?
Obsession, compulsion and self-centeredness are what make up the disease of addiction. Just because the drugs are removed from the equation doesn’t mean we no longer have the disease. As an addict, I can become obsessive, compulsive and totally self-centered about things that have nothing to do with drugs. Drugs were just a symptom and a major problem when I used them….the ultimate problem has been (and still is) me.
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