on_step_8 | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups

on_step_8



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  • #3731270

    Anonymous

    Hi all-

    I’ve recently completed step 5, 6, & 7 and of course next comes 8.

    Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

    It’s going to be a long list and yes, I know I’m only on step 8, but I can’t help but think, with a head full of fear, about the preceding step 9 (actually making the amends).

    Any suggestions or experience on step 8?

    Thanks,
    Kjell



    #4665635

    Anonymous

    Right on!!! Oh, Kjell, it’s about to get good for you. Freedom awaits, my friend.

    It’s Step 8. Make a list. The book tells us we already have it. We made it when we took inventory. So, start with that. A name, and a very brief description of the harms we did. Then another name, and a very brief description of harms. Then, if there are other harms I did that didn’t make my resentment, fear, or sex inventory, those get listed as well (after I’ve 4th Stepped pg 67 directions with them and 5th Stepped them).

    I like to stick each one on a 3×5 index card. Person’s name and what harms I did. So at the end of my 8th Step, I have a stack of 3×5 cards, one per person.

    That’s it. Then I take it 2 my sponsor and we discuss how to best set things right. Actually, I discuss this with him before I stick it on index cards, so I’ve weeded out some of the undoable amends, or one’s I’m not willing to make at this time.

    And then I pray pray pray for the willingness. As soon as I’m able (willing) I go and make that amend. But that’s Step 9 and it’s best to keep focused on making a list right now.



    #4665634

    Townes0520
    Member

    Precisely what Keith said..right down to the 3×5 cards and reviewing with someone

    >The person
    >The harm

    Some that I thought I would have to approach got tossed out in discussion with my sponsor (to my surprise, but the ‘reason’ was discussed before tossing any out), as well as some I did not think I would have to make (not a big deal, they didn’t notice or care, they won’t remember me..etc) I ended up having on a card.

    Really glad to read it Kjell.

    One thing I found useful – don’t think about step 9 while I am on step 8, just make the list and be open to the willingness that comes. It does come!

    ~



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