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- May 4, 2016 at 3:56 pm #3731270
I’ve recently completed step 5, 6, & 7 and of course next comes 8.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
It’s going to be a long list and yes, I know I’m only on step 8, but I can’t help but think, with a head full of fear, about the preceding step 9 (actually making the amends).
Any suggestions or experience on step 8?
KjellMay 4, 2016 at 4:17 pm #4665635
Right on!!! Oh, Kjell, it’s about to get good for you. Freedom awaits, my friend.
It’s Step 8. Make a list. The book tells us we already have it. We made it when we took inventory. So, start with that. A name, and a very brief description of the harms we did. Then another name, and a very brief description of harms. Then, if there are other harms I did that didn’t make my resentment, fear, or sex inventory, those get listed as well (after I’ve 4th Stepped pg 67 directions with them and 5th Stepped them).
I like to stick each one on a 3×5 index card. Person’s name and what harms I did. So at the end of my 8th Step, I have a stack of 3×5 cards, one per person.
That’s it. Then I take it 2 my sponsor and we discuss how to best set things right. Actually, I discuss this with him before I stick it on index cards, so I’ve weeded out some of the undoable amends, or one’s I’m not willing to make at this time.
And then I pray pray pray for the willingness. As soon as I’m able (willing) I go and make that amend. But that’s Step 9 and it’s best to keep focused on making a list right now.May 5, 2016 at 5:42 am #4665634
Precisely what Keith said..right down to the 3×5 cards and reviewing with someone
Some that I thought I would have to approach got tossed out in discussion with my sponsor (to my surprise, but the ‘reason’ was discussed before tossing any out), as well as some I did not think I would have to make (not a big deal, they didn’t notice or care, they won’t remember me..etc) I ended up having on a card.
Really glad to read it Kjell.
One thing I found useful – don’t think about step 9 while I am on step 8, just make the list and be open to the willingness that comes. It does come!
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