This topic contains 14 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous 8 years, 3 months ago.
- December 15, 2016 at 10:22 am #4817443
This is what I did when I had to make an ammends. I took a step series, so did the steps for the first round from 1-12 in that order. I made a list of my original resentments (which of course were people) then understood it was about my resentments and perhaps it was Brendan that was wrong not whoever even if they were it doesn’t matter at this point. Well I went straight through 5-6-7 into step 8, I made a list, on paper, but that wasn’t sufficient, I had to go right through into my darkest corners of my past (with my sponsor), those are the ammends I stressed over most because they were to people that were not family, that perhaps would not be so gentle and caring about my new sobriety…. However through prayer to God as I understand him, lot’s of meetings and extra meetings, realization, work, and asking for the willingness I made the first ammend I was scared to make and it was a restitution for damage to a building where I smashed a out a window and entered the building. Regardless of what anybody says I was so frightened that I might go to jail, I almost didn’t contact the institution and I almost chose drinking or death over life, but you know something? I still am struggling with step 9, you know because I am growing, however painfully slow and coming realise a little more where I was really wrong like where it really counts and that scares me as well because I know there is certain ammends that were ommited in step 9 the first round that I know I have to make if I ever take a step series again by the Grace of God. So you are not alone! Just pray for the willingess never plan ahead for an ammend because it is not about the other person. It is about you, you are trying to make a new life for yourself and that is why you are making an ammend, perhaps it results in a loss of job, incarseration, or even divorce or perhaps nothing at all will result but a kind thank-you but really once it is done and if you have been honest with why you are there, because you are an alcoholic who is sober and you explained to the thing recieving the ammend what you are trying to do with your life and why you are here and that is to come clean to clean house to trust God that he has got you in his arms. What will result is growth perhaps peace of mind. You can never go into those situations trying to control the result because that’s not upto you that’s upto the person you’re making the ammend to and that is why you’re there to come clean to take responsibility for your action and own what you did. it’s not about the other person, its about you.December 15, 2016 at 10:26 am #4817444
Do your steps as they are instructed to us in the big book and get a sponsor, don’t add any extra curricular to this simple program I mean to say, don’t complicate things for yourself.:scoregoodDecember 15, 2016 at 10:33 am #4817445
I dont agree with you, you just rifled out a bunch of excuses in my oppinion? I suggest they suit up, shut up, and show up sit down, explain what it is they’re doing, then, own up to deed in a gesture of good will (mean it) and leave it at that. There is no way you can instruct another person that you owe restitution too on how they are expected to recieve your ammends and that’s because you are the wrong who is wrong for what happened it’s upto you to take the crap as it’s shot if any at all that is by God don’t go in there instructing and controlling how it’s going to go with that other person it might backfire on how your trying to make a new life for yourself but I know that fear and I’ve been to that place where I thought about how to do it and I came up with a million little plans but when I did, it just happened, I allowed myself time, I made sure I was comfortable with the fact that I had to do it mind you I wasn’t very comfortable doing it I was comfortable with the fact that I had to do it I just didn’t know when or how. God made that known to me and my sponsor got me through the rough paches until I did it. Felt the fear and did it anyway 🙂
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