Question??? | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups - Part 5


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    @Rasgeoff 2874949 wrote:

    AA is for people who WANT it not for those who NEED IT

    I gotta disagree with that statement but that’s for another thread I suppose.

    Betrue…. don’t look at “powerlessness” as a mandatory 100% absolute (we alkies tend to go to extremes, yanno 🙂 )

    If you have power over alcohol, then, as a general rule: you don’t drink when you don’t plan to, you don’t drink more than you intend to, and when you’re drinking, you don’t do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do (in other words, you don’t do things when you’re drunk that you wouldn’t do sober). If you can say those things are true……for you……then you’re not powerless over alcohol.

    As for “unmanageable” – let’s not look at absolute unmanageability just yet but let’s look at your record as manager: what are your “stats?” Were they better in the past than they are now? Have they gotten better or worse lately?
    Sure, I “felt” like I was a good manager of my life……..but the stats told a different story. My marriage was on the rocks, I was getting DUI’s, I wasn’t generally a happy guy most days, I suffered from a fair amount of depression and it seemed to be getting worse, everyone else seemed to be getting all the breaks whereas I just kept getting the short stick…….etc etc. Sure, I was managing alright, but I wasn’t what I’d consider a “winning manager.” I was like the Detroit Lions of managers……. I talked a good game and promised results – and sounded believable……… but I never seemed to be able to pull it off.

    You don’t HAVE to swallow the whole step on the first day…….. but be willing to consider IF you’re in control as much as you think you are and IF you’re happy with the results you’re getting. If everything’s peaches and cream then, ugh….to be blunt…why would you be on this site and why would you be considering rehab? ……and don’t feel bad – LOOOTS of us are powerless over alcohol and LOOOOTS of us can’t manage our lives all that well – BUT – we’ve found ways to live where those “issues” aren’t problems anymore and we don’t drink over them – ever.

    I didn’t want ANYTHING to do with AA when I went to my first meeting……..I just couldn’t take anymore of my life the way it was going so I figured I’d give it a try just to see if maybe they had some tips for me that I could use to regain some sanity. I didn’t WANT to be in AA at all…….truthfully, I didn’t like the meetings and reeeeally didn’t like the people. But……eventually…….a judge forced me to attend. I came to accept the steps pretty slowly – it took some time. Maybe had I stayed out drinking longer I could have accepted them more easily but that’s just not the way it went for me. I had to learn what all this stuff meant and I had to spend some time with it before I could get honest with myself about how my life was REALLY going. See, I spent decades lying to myself……and I was believing my own lies.

    If you’ve got a problem with alcohol and a desire to stop…….you qualify to attend any AA meeting anywhere you want to go…… and they’re FREE. Some folks need in-patient rehab……some need the medical detox and some need the “lock-down” aspect to keep them physically separated from alcohol. Only you can make that determination about your situation and your reality……..but don’t take making those decisions lightly – you life may depend upon it.



    nice post DT – and it is a perennial….

    but just so other folks know….the OP here is nearly 12 months old 🙂


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