Relapse after 20 days…. | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups

Relapse after 20 days….



This topic contains 7 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 7 years, 10 months ago.

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  • #3753988

    Anonymous

    I went to my first AA meeting about 3 weeks ago. I went to figure out where I was in this whole process. I went home and drank that night. The next day, I read the first 164 pages of BB and decided that I am an alcoholic. I kept going to meetings and was doing well. I really did not have any cravings, until Saturday (day 20). I was meeting my ex husband to drop off our son and all I could think about was where I was going to buy some beer. Sure enough, I did. It crossed my mind to call someone, but I didn’t want to. I got home and popped the beer. I just stood there smelling it, trying to decide what to do. I finally gave in and drank and 5 more followed. Once I decided I had enough, I poured everything else out. I did end up reaching out to a fellow AA member AFTER the fact. I feel so much shame now for what I have done. I know that it is just a bump in my road to recovery, but I am having a hard time forgiving myself. I really don’t want to drink again. It didn’t taste as good as I remembered and definitely was not worth what I am going through now.

    I am trying to focus on the 20 days I was sober and how great I felt. No drunk texting, no headaches, no regrets.

    Anyway, I am glad that I am here.

    Thanks for listening.



    #4968673

    Anonymous

    Welcome happygirl 🙂

    I don’t think there’s too much point in being too hard on yourself – you faltered…and a lot of us did that – some of us like me did that a LOT.

    You know what you should have done – use your support – don’t turn around and go back the way you came…there’s no answers there 🙂

    The important lesson here is you know what to do should you find yourself in trouble again 🙂

    D



    #4968675

    Anonymous

    You did it and it is over….Don’t dwell in the past. Focus on the future and the next 20 days…Think about your triggers and Press on 😀



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