Scared to be honest on my 4th step. | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups - Part 2

Scared to be honest on my 4th step.

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    I told my sponsor something that i would have never and would never, save maybe future partner, tell anyone else. It was very liberating and i found out that he has heard much, much worse. Remember some our paths have taken us to very, very dark places…i understand the worry, i was scared too…i just had to suck it up and get it written down and said…i didn’t want to be drinking over it at some point and neither do you…

    I felt so much better after finally telling someone…wow…can’t tell you how much better!!!!!!



    Hi Jesse you are going to feel so much better when you talk about this. Your sponsor has probably heard far worse before, they probably were just as embarrassed about telling their inventory.

    One of the things this disease does is tell us that we are special and unique and no-one else is quite like us or feels quite like us. The truth is we are all alcoholics and have all gone through similar experiences.

    Perhaps you can write this resentment on a seperate paper. Tell your sponsor that you have an extra resentment but you are too embarrassed to disclose it. I would guess by the end of the process you will feel able to open up about this one. You won’t regret it.



    Does it involve barnyard animals, jumper cables, and/or Vaseline? Yes or no, you’re definately not the only person who has experienced it. And whatever it is, your not the only person who has ever felt the way you feel now. Your not alone. But until you keep hiding it from yourself, and the world, you will be.

    Please join us, we’re all circus clowns really. We just don’t try to hide it anymore. We could care less. We are real. Real alcoholics. We don’t have to “fake it” anymore……What a gift.

    This helped me with step 4:

    1. Truly do/say/feel step 3 prayer. Helps remove fear. Get to the point of “I don’t care what it takes to go foreword, I’m willing to do ANYTHING to keep from going backward.” Are we really done drinking yet? Have we truly had enough? When the answer is “Yes” we put the pen to the paper. If it’s “No” then we don’t. That simple.

    2. Just write down what happened. The facts. Get it onto paper is ALL it asks of us (It doesn’t ask us to re-live it, re-analyze it, or re-feel anything. We can do that in Step 5 when we’re much safer. Don’t go there alone in Step 4.)

    Thank you for sharing. I love to hear from people who are actually working the 12-step “process”. You are in for the ride of your life Jesse. You will know a new freedom.

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