AA NA CA 12 Step Meetings & Anonymous Support Groups › Forums › Drug Addiction › Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support › NA Step Study › NA Step 1 › Should I leave my recovering Oxy Addict boyfriend? If not, how can I help?
This topic contains 8 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous 8 years, 12 months ago.
- April 13, 2016 at 9:33 pm #4648286
I can reply to this from the other side. I am an addict who was left by his girlfriend because of my drug use. IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED! I was addicted to Oxycontin as well. I lived for it for quite a few years. I also got into Xanax, methadone, morphine… Pretty much any narcotic I could get my hands on. Most of addicts have to hit bottom before we will even attempt to change, and as long as he has you, he still has something. For me personally, I had to lose EVERYTHING in my life to want to turn it around. I didn’t realize all I had until it was all gone. I wanted to get sober and clean for so long, but I was so scared of change. I realized that when the emotional pain and misery in life exceed the fear of change, then change will occur. Me getting clean was the best thing to ever happen to me, and it never would have happened if she would have stayed with me. If he is anything like I was, being around him could be a threat to you and your child. You have to do what’s best for you two and not worry about him. He needs a sober influence in his life. Try to go to a nar-anon or al-anon meeting and find someone that would be happy to talk to him. It shouldn’t be to hard. Anyone who is in recovery is more than willing to point someone in the right direction. Good luck. It will all work out the way it’s supposed to…April 15, 2016 at 12:59 pm #4648284
I have read all of these & ALL are helpful. If I get responses to this update, I will be more than pleased with the answers. I agree with all because I am so confused. I want to stay to be his rock.. But I want to leave so he knows he can’t have his CAKE and EAT IT TOO.. ya know? My boyfriend went to Detox.. for 5 days.. for Oxycontin yet also had Xanax in his system but in small amounts. This is after a 5 day binge he went on THE DAY I started this thread! He spent his 280$ income tax mostly on Oxy, over half of it on that, actually. The rest on xanax, weed, & paying to stay at other drug addict’s houses because he was kicked out for 5 days. After those 5 days, he checked himself into Detox & said he couldn’t do it anymore. That he couldn’t believe how far it had gone. He came out of Detox sober & just as beautiful as he always he sober. I had pictures of him the day he left for Detox to show him how bad it really was (I mean when your eyes are crossing on my couch & you’re passing out in between being overly talkative & driving me crazy). He refused to look. He always refuses to listen to the ridiculous voicemails he leaves when he’s high, as well. Drugs make him SO RUDE. Like, he was high on Oxycontin & was completely happy & was like,”You’re so beautiful.. Like even if you were fat, you’d still be beautiful.. I mean you are a little overweight.. but that can fixed right? Tummy tucks arent that much money & it is just baby fat.. and the stretchmarks.” I WANTED TO SCREAM RIGHT THEN. Drugs make you not care apparently. He’s sober now & trying to stay busy by swimming everyday & playing online games (since he doesn’t work at the moment) & his parents let him come home, obviously. Hopefully he can hold out. I told him if he ever feels like doing Oxy, to call me, talk to me about it. I won’t judge him or scream, just try to talk him out of it because he is a good person sober & he ruins himself with that stuff…All’s been good so far.. But of course, it is just a matter of time..April 20, 2016 at 7:52 pm #4648282
I have a brother 3 years younger than me. The family had him up to the treatment center I went through, we introduced him to AA, and he seemed willing at first do the deal. But he got cold feet and fled back to Florida. That was his choice.
He’s getting bad; living on the streets, at times staying with a profoundly co-dependent “rock” who provides him just enough emotional support and shelter to keep him drunk and dependent. I urge his brothers and sisters not to talk to him when he calls drunk. And of course, they know enough not to give him money.
And every day I get that pang in my chest, that urge to hire a detective down in Tampa and go find him and, what, exactly? Kneel on his chest and pour recovery down his throat? No, I am as powerless as he is over this thing. More so, because I can only get sober for me, and even that’s just a daily reprieve.
At this point, I am far more likely to get a call from the Hillsboro County Coroner than I am from him, and that sickens me, but I know how to practice hope, which tells me that God can and will if he were sought. Again, that’s my brother’s choice.
I tell that “rock” down in Tampa that her twisted idea of “love” is going to kill my brother. Do you really want to “love” your boyfriend to death? You do him no great favor by supporting him in any way. Perform for him the supreme act of selflesness. Let him go.
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