some more advice needed about how to proceed with Step 9 | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups

some more advice needed about how to proceed with Step 9

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    Hi All,

    I appreciate the feedback I have received for my previous posts. I wrote before about a financial amend that dates back to 1994 that I need to make with someone I have not seen from that time. The guy I have owed the money to lives in Canada (my native country) and I am in Japan. I will return there this August for 19 days.

    I did a Google Search and know where he works. but my concern is that in the first half of August he might be on vacation. I don’t know how to go about contacting him or his office to find out if in fact he will be in office when I try to make my visit to him. He might not wish to speak to me or take my call, so I figure it might be better of I were to telephone before I visit to let him know I am coming…say the morning of the day I hope to visit his office.

    If he does not want to see me, should I just leave the envelope containing the money I owe (about $500, which is the 2011 value adjusted to inflation of the $340 debt from 1994) with his secretary and include a note of where I can be reached in town for the remainder of my Canadian visit.

    Don’t know where he and his wife live. I feel I need to make an amend to his wife too. The last time I spoke with my friend was during a personal visit to his office in 1994 when I was angry and at him and expressed my hurt etc. His wife tried to contact by phone the next day but I decided to not take the call since I knew she would give me an earful-she is a lawyer and had offered to be my power of attorney when I left Canada in 1991 to come to Japan. She did all my domestic banking (paying off bills, taxes) while I was overseas, which led to she and her husband getting dinged for a $340 bill of my taxes. She tried to call me in Japan after I had returned but I did not take the call or respond to the letter she sent…

    How do I make an amend to her? Don’t know where she lives? If she too does not want to see me, do I try and find out through any old mutual friends where they live and send them a letter before I leave Canada to return to Japan.

    There are so many ways they helped me. Someone wrote to my previous post that I should ask the person when I see him, “what do I need to do to make this better”? So, if I cannot meet the man or his wife in person, do I write this in a letter and try to drop it off at one of their workplaces in person or at their house. I do know where one of his best friends works(Googled him), so is it Ok to hand over any money or letters to him to pass on for me.




    first,I would pray about it and try and do what I feel is right,which may be to leave a envelope with the money and a honest letter of amends to him and her,if they cannot or will not see you.I never trid to involve others in my amends,it is just another way to keep it simple.
    good luck,let us know how it goes

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