This topic contains 5 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous 8 years, 3 months ago.
- February 27, 2017 at 7:10 pm #3746798
I spent about 2-3 hours last night on Step 4. It was a very draining process and I am FAR from even being finished. As the perfectionist that I am, when it came to writing out my flaws I started with pre-alcoholic, alcoholic, addict, and who I am today. Didn’t even get down to the assets because my flaws took forever! You would say that I was beating myself up. Then I talked to a roomie about it (live in an awesome clean and sober house) and she said “you’re not supposed to do the 4th step without a sponsor!!”
Is this true? …If so, what is the difference?
I am serious about my sobriety, whereas before I would probably not have been even 50% honest. The blatant honesty dumbfounded me, and like I said I found myself drained.February 27, 2017 at 7:15 pm #4876031
Honestly, my 4th step scares me! I need all the input I can get regarding it.February 27, 2017 at 7:57 pm #4876029
You should not do the Fourth Step without a sponsor who has done the Fourth Step.
Seems sort of obvious, but you’d be surprised at the number of sponsors who take people through the 4th step having had no experience themselves.
You should find someone you can sit with in person. Try a local Big Book meeting.
I did all the steps with my sponsor precisely as it was laid out in the Big Book. We had no other literature, no forms, etc. We started on Page 30 and when there was a direction, we did it.
So, not knowing what your experience has been with the first part of the Big Book– from the preface to page 63– I don’t know where you are with your Fourth Step. But once you’ve done Steps 1-3 (which should be one session with your sponsor), we immediately begin Step 4 by grabbing a pencil (no computers) and a notebook. We make a list of people, institutions and principles with whom we were angry (at any point in our lives, not just currently). We write top to bottom, not across– we are making a list. We don’t worry about the cause of the resentment until after our list is completed.
And so on. These are the directions. This is “precisely” how the writers of the book recovered.
Happy to help where I can. Feel free to PM me.
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