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- February 27, 2017 at 7:59 pm #4876032
I am not an alcoholic but from what I understand from friends and family who have done step four, it usually isn’t done in one 2-3 hours stint and definitely without a sponsor.
Give yourself time to get through the step.February 27, 2017 at 8:12 pm #4876030
hubbachoo – Funny you should post this. I’ve only just begun Step 4 this morning (my part getting all the blanks filled in). And exactly the way FrothyJay has described it. I do have worksheets from the Big Book with step by step directions, that were given to me my an old timer and my sponsor last night with a thourough explaination of how to do them. It took me 4 1/2 hours just to get through my Resentments this morning. Once I have done my part in filling in the blanks my sponsor and I will sit down and go through each one individually. Each and every entry.
You’re correct it is mentally draining. You should find a sponsor so it’s done correctly, just consider the work you’ve put into it a head start before you do the actual STEP 4. I had already been taking notes about things that I knew I didn’t want to miss or forget. However, after what I learned last night, I hadn’t even began to scratch the surface.
Find a sponsor so you do it right the first time. And FrothyJay is a good one to bounce things off of if you need to. He has alot of wisdom and really knows his stuff!!!
Good Luck.March 5, 2017 at 9:49 am #4876028
@hubbachoo 2879980 wrote:
I spent about 2-3 hours last night on Step 4. It was a very draining process and I am FAR from even being finished. As the perfectionist that I am, when it came to writing out my flaws I started with pre-alcoholic, alcoholic, addict, and who I am today. Didn’t even get down to the assets because my flaws took forever! You would say that I was beating myself up. Then I talked to a roomie about it (live in an awesome clean and sober house) and she said “you’re not supposed to do the 4th step without a sponsor!!”
Is this true? …If so, what is the difference?
I am serious about my sobriety, whereas before I would probably not have been even 50% honest. The blatant honesty dumbfounded me, and like I said I found myself drained.
Sitting down for hours and writing out my flaws is not a 4th step according to the directions in our big book.
This is where a sponsor who works the step out of the book would be able to guide and direct you.
Get in the book, and do the step the way the book says to do the step. 🙂
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