This topic contains 9 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous 7 years, 10 months ago.
- April 5, 2017 at 6:29 pm #4883787
I don’t understand how doing a fourth step about people or things you feel bad about has to turn into character defects about one’s self? I’ve had enough shame put on me in my life and I’m worried I’m going to be traumatized by more unnecessary shame by a sponser if I do and share my fourth step.
I think you need to talk to your sponsor b/c doing a fourth step is exactly that – taking a fearless and moral inventory of ourselves.
…and your sponsor isn’t helping you do this to put shame on you. It’s simply a tool to uncover who you are and to see patterns in our behavior.
but honestly, I wasn’t the kind of alcoholic who went around ripping people off, ruining my family, etc. etc.
Most of us are this way. Trust me when I say you’re not unique and you’re one of many.
Please don’t overthink this and stay willing, honest, and openminded while working the steps.
If you try to poke holes in the process, you will, but at what cost?
Don’t get ahead of yourself or the step your on as they’re put in order for a reason.
Kjell~April 5, 2017 at 7:45 pm #4883789
I’m currently working on my inventory. I started it way back in December, but due to circumstances, sort of put my program on hold. I am back, working with my sponsor, and redoing and finishing my inventory.
When i started the process, i didn’t know anything. Looking at it again, I still know very little, but i can see I was less than thorough and completely honest in my first go round.
The first time i started this, it was hard and uncomfortable. It is still both of those, but also very liberating and thought provoking. My attitude has changed, which is part of it.
Your sponsor should not go through it to judge or criticize you. If that is holding you back, you need to speak with your sponsor about it. Not the point of the 4th and 5th steps, in my opinion.
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