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  • #4807364

    Anonymous

    @SJTChiSox 2830994 wrote:

    Had a great conversation with my sponsor about the first step and at the end was told that I was done with it. I know its an ongoing journey though. I have to remind myself I am powerless all the time. Really working hard on the HP stuff now. I’ve got a lot to figure out. I know I have the AA/NA and the 12 step community at the end of the day, but I also have another HP that I am trying to figure out.

    Well I am off to another meeting. Today is day 90! for me.

    By going through the process we gain access to great Power– so you wont ALWAYS be powerless. If I was still powerless there is no way I would still be here sober today…. Trust this process, my experience has been that I can trust anything the BB says…..



    #4807371

    jacque
    Member

    @SJTChiSox 2830994 wrote:

    Really working hard on the HP stuff now. I’ve got a lot to figure out. I know I have the AA/NA and the 12 step community at the end of the day, but I also have another HP that I am trying to figure out.

    Well I am off to another meeting. Today is day 90! for me.

    Congrats on 3 mos! that’s bad a$$!!

    Be careful of getting caught into a possible trap your ego is setting for you – the trap of believing you have to understand your HP or understand what he/she/it is capable of to “properly” work step 2. I got caught up in that garbage myself when I was in my first year. I felt I needed to really truly “understand” each of the steps, to internalize them at a deep level, and to be really proficient talking about them at tables……. before I considered I had that step down.

    I don’t know that any of us “figure God out” (or any HP for that matter). I dunno that we’re capable of doing it. I think the understanding that we have is based more on experience and time than it is on knowledge. If it were knowledge, I could just cram like I did for exams……..work really really hard…..FORCE the stuff into my head…..and then I’d “get it.”

    The understanding I have now of my HP has come more with practicing the steps…..living the steps as best I can day by day….and patience. Our understanding of all the steps grows over time (unless we decide to coast or rest on our laurels …..in which case we aren’t really maintaining but actually going backwards).

    I stalled on #2 (and all the steps really…….my first time through them), refusing to go forward, until I believed I had some deep understanding of the step and was convinced, in my mind, that I knew just about everything about that step and was sure I had all aspects of it covered.

    2 should be really simple at first. In 1 we’re admitting we just can’t stay sober and we just can’t live happily on our own. In 2 we’re waking up to the possibility of an alternative (to what we found in 1) and grabbing onto some hope that a better life is possible…..and probably even likely….for us. If you’re not sure it’s “likely” then just look around AA – bunch of former losers who’s lives have totally turned around, right (or are in the process of turning around)? If it happened for “them” why wouldn’t it happen for me too, right?

    Yer doing a good job Chi…. I’m just putting that “warning” out about dragging feet cuz that’s precisely what I did and it brought a lot of pain into my life that wasn’t necessary. 🙂



    #4807395

    Anonymous

    Wow, that really helps me out alot. I started my second step thread and am going to be writing my thoughts down in that one. I know that I have the group as something bigger than me that wants me to do good.

    Thank you so much for all your help! I appreciate it.



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