starting step 4 | 12 Step Meetings and Anonymous Groups

starting step 4

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    Hello, I am new here and am going to start working on step 4 tomorrow with my sponsor. Any suggestions from experienced souls is appreciated.
    Thanks, Tony



    Well, I would say to remember that this is about seeking the truth. To face and be rid of the things that have no place in our lives…

    We get to see the causes and conditions that drove our behavior.

    “Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity….etc.” Driven….

    Driven by self and self-delusion.

    It says in the book:

    “Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us.”

    I think the 4th step helps us uncover how selfish we are…we get to see it. What we do. What they do, how it affects us, how we react.

    It’s really seeing or discovering the truth.

    “Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered it’s common manifestations.”

    I am glad to read you have someone to help you.

    Happy to read you are taking the action as willingness to “do” the work, not just read about it, is important.

    I need to finish my 4th step.

    I get caught up in all sorts of things except finishing this. I don’t know why the reluctance to do it.

    So…I guess I would also say stick with it, no matter the resistance.


    One neat thing I heard is about the Selfishness-self centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles paragraph in How it Works…

    They went through this paragraph and showed how all columns, 1, 2, 3, 4…present.

    “We step on the toes of our fellows….column 1
    They retaliate…column 2
    Sometimes they hurt us…column 3
    But we find we made decisions based on self which later placed us in a postion to be hurt…column 4.

    I thought that was interesting…never saw that before.




    The best way to start a 4th Step is to be really solid on the first 3 Steps. The power needed to write a fearless and thorough inventory that shows me the truth about my selfishness, self-seeking, dishonesty, and fear, comes from being willing to have a higher power direct my life.

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