This topic contains 18 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous 7 years, 10 months ago.
- February 23, 2015 at 4:20 am #4121508
I have a hard time with this step. I easy gave into step 1. I know I am an addict of everything, not just drugs. I know I need help and cant do it alone. I have swapped addicitons to cover the fact that I cleaned up with the other. When in fact, I just shifted to narcotics instead of booze. I cant control this.
I have been for a large part of my life an aethiest, or agnostic. I can’t accept that there is someone or something that is in control of my actions. I am the only one in control.
However, I can’t help but feel something led me to make the decision to become sober. My decision was not triggered by anything other than I knew I was headed down a bad path.
I have to find an NA meeting in my area, but the website doesn’t list one in my small town. I am looking at a long drive in the evenings. Northwest Montana in the wintertime can make that difficult.
How does one find it, feel it, or know when a higher power is in control?
I will pray, It may seem silly to me. I don’t even know who I am talking to, but i will give it a try.February 24, 2015 at 12:07 am #4121504
I’m an ex-crackhead and NA helped me save my life. I certainly relate to your pain and suffering. What you need to know is, recovery is possible and you can do it. If you can’t make it to a meeting tonight or call someone in recovery to talk with…just hang out here with us at 12 Step National Meetings. There’s always someone popping in and out that can share their ES&H with you. There may even be an NA Helpline in your area that you can call. Do your best not to use TODAY and tomorrow get yourself to a meeting…introduce yourself…get phone numbers…reach out. Help is available.
If you scroll back and read my post you’ll see that nowhere in it do I mention a God/HP controlling anything. IMO, that isn’t what Step 2 is about. Step 2 is about coming to believe that a Power greater than yourself (whatever you want to call it) can restore you to sanity. Many of us struggle with this step because we project to Step 3 or interpret it to mean we have to be converted. Such is not the case. NA is not a religious program.
I know I need help and cant do it alone.
Do you believe that NA works? Do you believe that it has worked in the lives of others? Do you believe it can work for you? Do you believe that others can help you? If your answers are yes, then you really have no problem with Step 2. The program of NA is a Power greater than me, and the fellowship is a Power greater than me. Step 2 is an exercise in open-mindedness….opening your mind to the possibility that SOMETHING or SOMEONE can help me to do what I could not do alone: recover.
tflmsMarch 10, 2015 at 5:27 am #4121502
This step helped me to see the need to stop my way of doing things. It started the process of accepting responsibility for my life. i became aware of the harm i had done to myself by blaming people, places, and things. It helped me to realize the futility of trying to fix my past with what i was still doing each day clean. i started to see the patterns of inconsistency between my words and my actions. i became intolerant enough of my self destructive and self defeating ways to surrender them to a power greater than myself.
As i continue to allow this step to find it’s way deeper into my life, i am much happier, calmer, and saner. Believing i can be restored to sanity is an ongoing process for me because of my self obsessive tendancies. i don’t resort to my thinking as often, but i do have lapses. i reach out again to that power that keeps me clean and ask to be willing to accept the sanity that is available to me. i still feel as though i need to have something different every once in awhile, but a better way continues to be proven in my life because i remain committed to my recovery.
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