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- April 6, 2017 at 3:28 pm #3749439
This part of the step, “to another human being” is, I don’t know how to say it, I just feel there is more to it than meets the eye.
I consciously made a decision during the process of taking the steps with my then sponsor, there is NO WAY he is going to know EVERYTHING.
I do understand the step,( self delusion) but there is something about the part “with another human being” that rings a bell that says, “stop and think before who you do this with”.
This is what happened since coming to AA by listening to a few long term sobers.
1. First month in AA, I was having coffee and just probing about AA, steps etc.
He gave good directions, but he warned me about Step 5 from his own expirience. That is, his sponsor slipped, got drunk and blab about his sponsees.
OK, this is probably 1 in a million chance it happens, but it happened.
2. My sponsor may not understand because he has not been where I have been.
For example, let’s say I was a bank robber and I robbed a bank on such and such street, on such and such date.
Do I tell him I was a thief, ( nature of our wrongs )?
Or do I tell him the whole deal, address, bank, amounts stolen etc etc?
3. The steps sa’s “another human being”, does that mean specifically my sponsor?
4. Page 61 in 12 & 12 writes, “Here we ought to take much care……,”
Then it writes, “this individual may be entirely outside of AA”
And even goes further to say, “a complete stranger may prove the best bet.”
I don’t mean to rip this step apart, but I also know that I really don’t want to know EVERY bit of gory detail of future sponsees, definatley not.
If they robbed a bank for example and have not been caught, do I rerally want to know this stuff? No I don’t, what if then I am forced by the law to reveal what I know or get done for what ever it is, perjury I think it is.
Can someone please enlighten on this topic, not to shoot it down, but some clarity.
ThanksApril 7, 2017 at 12:11 pm #4913845
AnonymousAA BB 1st wrote:We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step.
Entirely means entirely. Directions are given on how to choose this person. Understanding and close-mouthed are mentioned.
Although I have found that a sponsor is uniquely qualified to give feedback and help someone see the truth about their past conduct, I always give guys an out. I tell them if there is something they haven’t been able to share, something they just can’t tell me, then find a priest or some other individual to share that with. It doesn’t have to be me, but it has to be someone.
After I’ve heard a 5th Step (and I’ve heard some things I really didn’t want to hear), I do a 6th and 7th Step as well to have God remove from me anything I don’t need to be useful. I don’t need to be carrying around that weight any more than the guy 5th Stepping does.
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