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- January 11, 2016 at 2:00 pm #3725454
I’m working on step 2.
I’m doing 90 in 90. I pray every morning and most nights on my knees.
I call my sponsor daily and meet with him once a week. He reads the
big book to me and we are about to start on chapter 4 “We Agnostics”.
I struggle with not being honest with myself and with others. I also
struggle with fear, resentments, ungratefulness, and selfishness (to
name a few).
I believe I have honestly worked and accepted step 1. I admit and
accept I’m powerless over alcohol. My past decisions show as much and
my “relapses” since I started recovery in AA also prove this to be
true. I have a desire to stop drinking and I’m willing to go to any
(I promise there is a question forthcoming, please keep reading :))
Is my life unmanageable? Yes, it was while I was drinking/drugging
(though I kept it together for a very long time). My life has been
and it sure as heck is now that I’ve stopped. I feel insane at times
without my crutch. …and it’s obviously been unmanageable these last
two years. I went over some sort of line in Feb 08 (lost my girl, my
job, had to move, and now two duis and two totalled cars and somewhere
in there the blackouts started…).
Ok, now on to Step 2: Came to believe that a power greater than
ourselves could restore us to sanity.
(the question is almost here…please keep reading)
I realize these steps are in order for a reason. So, now that I’ve
admitted I’m powerless and my life is unmanageable, it’s time to
believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. Is
there anything more to this than “coming to believe that my God, my
higher power, can restore me to sanity”?
Any actions here? Any advice? Much appreciated.
Thank you and thank God for AA, sponsorship, and 12 Step National Meetings.January 11, 2016 at 2:19 pm #4594264
Step 2: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
For me, there has been/continues to be both as “no” and a “yes” answer to your question.
The “No”: all this step is about is your being willing to believe — or, in some cases, just to be willing to suspend disbelief and give it a try — is the short-term, get-on-with-the-Step-work answer. And this answer is valid because, what I find with the Steps is that it is really only in working the remaining Steps that I truly even begin to find out what any previous Step is about an am empowered to work it more fully.
The “Yes”: “There’s a lot more” is the long-term answer pretty much for the reasons just mentioned. Because the more I work the Steps and the longer I work and study the Steps and the more deeply I enter the life of Step work, the more I realize how much I don’t know, how powerless I am, and how little I have any control over. And the more I’m forced to come to terms with that fact that that’s actually a good thing, because it’s the thing that continuously forces me to turn more and more to HP/God/whatever you want to cal IT.
So, anyways, if you’re at Step 2 and you already know that you have a HP Who is there who help you and Who wants you to live, happy, joyous and free, then you are a lot further along than many people (including myself) were at that point. So, now, by continuing forward, you are going to learn how best to open yourself to and avail yourself of that help.
freyaJanuary 11, 2016 at 2:24 pm #4594266
I don’t think it’s an action step, so much…. Do you believe that He can? If yes… then, on to step three, because, in my experience, that is how He does it… In other words, I need to let go and let Him. Turn it over… ya know?
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