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- January 1, 2017 at 9:49 pm #3743629
I’ve been sober a long time and haven’t had a lot of sponsees, but I’ve got one now. He’s been around for years, but regularly gets drunk a couple of times a month, which for him is an improvement. A couple of days ago he got $20 in the mail and used it to get drunk; “I didn’t even think about it,” he says. He’s been getting drunk since he was 11, has abuse issues, has a social worker, and is under medication.
I told him to go to a lot of meetings; inpatient and outpatient therapies aren’t options. Some people drive him a bit nuts, but what else is new.
I’m not a traditional guy; I’ve depended upon non-AA books and a different spiritual path, but I’m open to anything that works. He says he’s got all the AA books, but needs something more. I’m trying “Passages In Recovery,” by Gorsky; but it seems he needs to actually do things to get the message across, and even then it’s dicey.
Welcome to the real world.January 1, 2017 at 10:12 pm #4831933
I think sponsoring is all about encouraging wisdom and growth, but there are certain times when you need to do sponsorship with a hammer.
I think we all can understand the automatic nature of going out to buy alcohol in a figurative sense, but sure as hell we always thought about it. If he really and truly isn’t thinking about it then I don’t see much point in sponsoring him. AA is for humans not machines. Having a long history of drinking and past traumas makes things more difficult, but there’s still got a be a crack in it that you can help him find.
And I’d also take with a grain of salt that he’s got the AA lit but “needs more.” I don’t know him, he might be a great guy, but I also know alcoholics. I know the “I will get sober just as soon as I get the perfect book” which equals “I will keep drinking and pretend it’s because only a perfect book can save me.”January 2, 2017 at 12:48 pm #4831932
The 1st think I do with a new sponsee …is to sit down
and we read this together….
It’s usually on the free l literature rack in meetings
and a good way to get a basic idea of what is expected
from the sponsor/sponsee connection…:)
I’ve not read “Passages” …it might be an excellent book
to use as a supplement……but don’t confuse outside
resources with AA sponsorship.
I give new sponsees “Under The Influence” by Milam & Ketcham
but it’s nothing to do with Step work
All my best to both of you
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