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- December 19, 2013 at 8:35 am #4190095
Acknowledging the inner child
“Mother, may I go out to swim?”
“Yes, my darling daughter.”
“Hang your clothes on a hickory limb, but don’t go near the water.” Old nursery rhyme
Since Birth, our child entity has recorded all our feelings, emotions, deprivatios, misunderstanding, hurts and sorrows as well as all our pleasures. Our inner child is the adventurer, the explorer, the mischief maker. It is inventive. It can also be stubborn and disobedient. The child rebels at the tyranny of the shoulds; it wants what it wants when it wants it. Instant gratification is its demand. Long-term goals are anathema to this aspect of ourselves.
For many of us, our inner child has long been silenced. From infancy to adulthood, our programming has been one of stifling conformity; of being forced to behave within the prescribed patterns of our families and our communities.
How often have others told us how we feel. “You don’t want to play with that nasty little boy.” “You’re sorry that you hit your sister.” “You always feel better after you take your medicine.” In reality, we did want to play with that boy. He was fun! We were not a bit sorry we hit our sister. We would have liked to push her over a cliff. And we hated the medicine. We thought it was yucky, and it made us feel worse than ever.
Now we can recognize that child entity as one to be nurtured, and—within limits—to be granted fulfillment of many of its pleasures.
Today’s Step: I cherish the beloved child within.
Step by Step. Muriel Zink
Although I do not utilize the inner child concept myself, I was able to find some similarities within this passage. I hope you are able to gain something from it to. If you do not agree with the inner child concept then please take what you can use and leave the rest. Thanks.December 20, 2013 at 3:45 am #4190092
Step 1 was an event of sorts, its something that happened to me rather than something I took, I was crushed by life and self.
I had to concede or die.December 20, 2013 at 8:45 am #4190094
Acknowledge the Adult
“We are half-ruined by conformity, but we should be totally ruined without it.” Charles Dudley Warner
Our adult self is very like the character of Mr. Spock, the alien crew member in “Star Trek.” The adult is logical, dispassionate, fair, reasonable, and intelligent. He or she does not react emotionally, and can see the sense in the point of view of both our inner parent and child. When conflict arises between the two, the adult attempts to restore order out of chaos. It’s as if there were a committee arguing in our heads, churning our emotions into a frenzy.
When communication can be established from child to adult, and from parent to adult, it is possible for the adult to weigh the evidence and translate to each entity the other’s point of view. It is at this point that the adult is able to point out viable alternatives.
In other words, our inner conflict, the inability to make comfortable decisions, and our feelings of confusion are somewhat dispelled by our adult voice of reason. It’s as if our child is saying, “I want to go to the beach,” and our parent fumes, “You can’t go. You have to do your homework.” The adult says, “Why not go to the beach after your homework is done?”
The child says, “I think I’d like to study law.” The parent says, “Better not. It’s too tough.” The adult says, “What have you got to lose? It might work. If not, you can always try something else.”
Today’s Step: I connect with the dispassionate part of my being and embrace my inner adult.
Step by Step. Muriel Zink.
Disclaimer: Although I personally do not do inner child work, I have heard others speak of having wonderful results from it. Even if you are like me I hope you are able to take what you can use from this and leave the rest.
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