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- December 19, 2013 at 9:03 am #4192003
The Triple Whammy
“It is not the criminal things that are hardest to confess, but the ridiculous and shameful.” Jean-Jacques Roussea.
The value of our inventory is never more clearly demonstrated than when we admit the nature of our wrongs to ourselves and others. Without that written evidence, our minds search for every excuse, rationalization and justification in the book.
We could remain masked and inscrutable to ourselves and others were we not faced with the triple whammy that Step Five delivers.
“To God, to ourselves,” are the two preliminary phases that prepare us for the moment when we face another human being with our disclosures. But there is absolutely no way we can be candid with that other person until we ourselves have made full and complete disclosure to ourselves.
This unmasking, this tearing away of our self deceptions, is very painful. We have to drop the “act” that was our coping mechanism. We have to release the image that we and others have painted of ourselves. We have to let go of the fiction that we’ve been hapless victims of cruel fate. At this point, there’s nothing left to do but honestly confront the truth that no one but ourselves is responsible for the spot we have found ourselves in today.
This, at long last, is when we’re able to embrace our dark side—our “shadow”.
And this is where we start.
Today’s Step: I am no longer afraid to admit the exact nature of my wrongs.
Step by Step. Muriel ZinkDecember 20, 2013 at 9:56 am #4192002
Bad News and Good News
“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” Euripides
Once we work the Fifth Step and share the results of our Fourth Step inventory with others, we begin to realize that we’re gaining more and more insight into the why of our addiction. With increasing clarity, we see that our own behavior has been the major cause of our unahppiness.
As we uncover the characteristics that led us down the path to our disease, we slowly realize that it wasn’t our life situation that was at fault. It wasn’t our parents’ fault. It wasn’t “bad luck.” It wasn’t any person, place, or thing that pushed us over the edge. The reality is taht we had begun to develop some dysfunctional habit patterns. At first they seemed innocuous enough. But in the end, it was these patterns that led to the chronic progression of our disorder.
The good news here is that the more we uncover and discover, and the more candid we become about sharing this with another person, the closer we became about sharing this with another person, the closer we are to our recovery. Along the way we’ll learn that what looks like a catastophe at first glance becomes a golden opportunity.
There are people today in the Twelve Step process who are able to accept things that we’re still making ourselves miserable about. And they stand ready to help us work through every step of our recovery. All we have to do is ask.
Today’s Step: It becomes easier and easier to admit the truth to myself and others.
Step by Step. Muriel ZinkDecember 20, 2013 at 10:05 am #4192001
A Spiritual Program
“If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.” Voltaire
“God” is a word, a term that has been used universally to depict a presence variously envisioned as powerful, benign, punitive, clever, omnipotent, cruel, loving, vindictive, wrathful, or omniscient, depending upon the views, needs, or beliefs of a given group of people.
Those who subscribe to the ethic of formal religion follow the prescribed procedures advocated by their system of belief, whether it be Buddhism, Islamism, Judaism, Taoism, Hindusim, Christianity, or others. Some Christian churches see God as an anthropomorphic being who keep a tally of their sins, and who—when they die—assigns them to heaven, hell or purgatory, depending on their record sheet.
Mormons believe in families reunited on one of the three levels of heaven. Catholics and Episcopalians believe in life everlastin. Jews believe that heaven and hell are part of our daily lives right here on earth. Other faiths subscribe to reincarnation.
Whatever we believe will not conflict with the working of these steps, for the program is not religious. However, it is spiritual. For years, not only those who were affiliated with formal religions but also agnostics and atheists chose to accept the word “God” as the term for their Higher Power.
Today’s Step: As I work my program, I develop my own personal concept of God.
Step by Step. Muriel Zink
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