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  • #3738790

    Anonymous

    For me it was more like “remembered to believe…”.

    During the entire first year of my daughter’s addiction, I completely forgot about a Higher Power. I was so determined to save/control her that I was making myself her HP, and I’m pretty lousy at it.

    I was so focused on her, thinking if she’d get clean I would be happy. I hinged everything on her, put her and her addiction before everything else. In that sense, I had made her and her addiction my HP. All that did was cause a fall from grace for me, and it literally sent me to my knees.

    I always remembered HP during good times, but was slow to remember during the bad. I thought I had gratitude but without humility it meant nothing. I knew how to say thank you but I kept forgetting to ask for help for myself, despite having done that before in my life.

    My grandmother was a medicine woman, and she assigned an individual word for everyone to ponder. Her word for me was humility and she gave it to me when I was 16. She told me if I needed help I had to ask for it. It was soon after that when I first reached out to the Creator.

    I found serenity that day and many times since then. It’s only now that I’m able to see I took serenity for granted. I didn’t understand it’s something I have to seek every day, and the only way to attain it is with and through a Higher Power.

    I’ve come to believe that my Creator gives me many sources to that Higher Power, and the 12 steps, the people who work them, are one of them.



    #4765896

    Anonymous

    Wow..humility at 16..that was something i didn’t get until life kicked me in the a** a bunch of times. Slow learner over here. I have quoted this before , but there is a buddihst saying. “Be humilated enough, find humility” Thats how I had to get it. Am impatient for my AD to find some…must run in the family!



    #4765895

    Anonymous

    Excellent subject, Chino!

    It was a gradual process for me because prior to recovery, I spent years trying to run away from the God of the Catholic church and my parents’ understanding.

    I could not embrace that concept anymore.

    I began to see something I wanted in the people sitting in the rooms of recovery, and I came to believe in something, if only the people who seemed to be doing well with life!

    Somewhere along the way, I began to find my own HP, a God of my understanding, if you will. 🙂



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