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- March 4, 2015 at 7:34 pm #4437089
everything that missybuns said is soooo true!!!! if i may toss in my 2 cents. “we didn’t become addicted in one day, so remember – EASY DOES IT!! you may not have noticed but i see that you’ve answered your own question! the last thing you said was “My mind is tired. My soul is tired.” think about those words you spoke. God/your Higher Power/whatever you like is saying something to you. “You’ve been thinking and thinking and trying and trying to the point where you’re just all done – you’re so tired, you’re so spent! that’s your sign! the enemy – the addiction/depression – will immediately try to convince you that you can’t take it anymore. there’s no way out of all this crud. LIES!! NEGATIVES!! so, try to look at it from the other side. what an opportunity you have been given! so, what are the POSITIVES??? you find yourself some time, someplace where you can be alone, away from any distractions, and purposely cool off. while you’re doing that, you take some time to let everything go and then start gathering your thoughts. i went to therapy with my wife the other day (loooong story!!!). it got intense. i tried so hard to say the right things. i tried so hard my mind became chaotic. my body trembled, i was sweating a bit and crying out of frustration. program has taught me that there’s always a way out. if there wasn’t, i wouldn’t be here today. so, we left in our separate cars and i stopped at my Starbux, got a coffee and went to my local park. rolled down the window, fired up a cigarette, closed my eyes and just let it all go. my head slowly emptied of all the crap and soon i was able to think clearly and come to some degree of acceptance. life goes on. i either give in, give up or i slow down, make some sense of it all, take a deep breath and try it again. the more i use this strategy, the sooner it’s gonna become second nature for me. oh, and the dope isn’t really workin, is it?!! maybe it’ll take you away but i know you know it’s only for as long as the high lasts. our problems are still there. try something different. try something that will last. you keep coming around here. it can happen for you. obviously you’re concerned – YOU’RE HERE. i’m proud of you for that. we’re all proud of you. we love you because you hurt. we all hurt. we care because it’s our nature to do so now. you’re gonna be okay. go into the bathroom, close the door, look at yourself in the mirror and say, aloud – “I’m going to make it through this. Not really sure how right now. but that doesn’t mean that i can’t.”March 27, 2015 at 7:44 pm #4437090
I don’t know if this helps or not, but whenever I am upset (angry, sad, etc.), my Mom will automatically ask what she did wrong. Even if I am pleasant to her and don’t snap at her, she can tell when I am upset and she asks me what she did wrong. THAT annoys the crap out of me. It’s not her, I have to assure her over and over. She has Bipolar. I guess part of it tells the person it’s always all about themselves. I don’t know.. Wish I understood it better, but I get so frustrated when she asks me that, I do everything I can not to show emotion to her, other than happiness. And when all I do is that, she asks me why I never cry or get angry in front of her.. *SIGHS* I can’t win for losing… hahahahaDecember 5, 2015 at 12:38 pm #4437091
Hi just know you are not the only one. I thought it was just me using excuses to smoke more, but now I see it’s not. Thanks for that insight, I hope it helps you too, I too try and then find I just can’t handle something, it’s easier to just give in than go through all that hardship. But it’s not I keep telling myself, life is too short, time to stop now, change, clear, all the clutter, so you can clear yourself. Until then you just can’t. Hope I listen to my own advice. Good luck. Chrishuggett
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