Step 1

 

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Hello, how in world are you? Just going to talk to you a few minutes about the first step in 12-step recovery groups. We admitted we were powerless and that our life had become unmanageable. I just want to say at the start that I’m not speaking for AAA or NA or essay. I’m not on faulty speaking for any of those groups. What I’m doing is just a primer on the 12 steps as I understand them today. We admitted that we were Powerless and that I life had become unmanageable.

One of the things I like about the steps is the fact that it’s spoken in the past tense. We admitted that we were powerless. It’s not saying that we still are powerless, but it’s in the past tense aside from that. It’s also spoken by a group of people rather than one person. The tradition is the first 100 people came up with the 12 steps. Of course, we know about the Oxford Group and we know that the steps were around.

For a long time but this one hundred people put it together as 12 steps and they said we didn’t start off with me. I myself. They said we they wanted us to understand that more than one person was behind these steps. It’s just not a good idea. This is something that they experienced. It’s an actual experience. We admitted that we were powerless and that our lives had become unmanageable now, we’re dealing with the Paradox of power.

Alice – you probably heard people talk about surrender to win. It’s a paradox like give it away to keep it. It sounds like it’s not true. But it really is a spiritual axiom. That is true. Okay. We admitted that we were powerless not only did they did they admit it, but they had to accept it in there being that they were powerless over whatever they addiction was powerlessness is the first step in building the Jason in recovery, we admitted that we were powerless.

Well, what do they mean by that powerless? Does that mean that their diction? Somehow comes throws them down to the ground and makes them take it? Well, I don’t think they mean that I think they’re saying that they’re powerless because they addiction does at least two things to them. It causes them to have a compulsion and it causes them to have an obsession. Okay, the compulsion I believe is what we do. The obsession is how how we think and when you have an addiction you have a compulsion that causes you to go against your very own slaw of self-preservation of compulsion that compels us to do things that we would not otherwise do a compulsion that goes against that which is in us that is our better self. So, we admitted that we were powerless means that once I start engaging in my addiction. I am compelled to continue not only that I haven’t upset.

Sin, not only Akram. Am I compelled to do it, but when I’m not doing it my mind obsesses over it and thinks about it? And when I do it in my mind thinks about it more and more and more. I kind of meditate on it. I keep thinking about it. I’m preoccupied by it’s what I want to do. I have a compulsion and an obsession. So, when I stop my addictive behavior when I take addictive substances something happens inside of me, somebody say we have an allergy we break out.

We break out in jails. We break out in hospitals. We even break out in funeral homes. We break out because we have an allergy that overtakes us when we indulge in our diction. We have a compulsion powerlessness means for me when I admit that I’m powerless. It means that I have surrendered that I’ve given up that I’m no longer trying to win the battle against this addiction. I’m not fighting any addiction any more powerless means that I’ve lost. I understand that my

It’s in my problem is bigger than me and it’s stronger than me and analogy. I use some time is that I say suppose someone came to me right now and they said they would give me 10 million dollars if I would drink right this moment a gallon of acid or right this moment. I would drink a gallon of arsenic.

I wouldn’t do it. I don’t know about you you but I would not do it now. Why why do I why would I not do it? Because I felt we believe that I am powerless to drink it and continue living I thoroughly believe that it’s going to take my life. I felt really believe that it’s going to destroy me destroy the hopes and the dreams and the processes that I would have with my family. I really believe that why I don’t know. I’ve never studied arsenic. I’ve never felt acid. I just believe it within myself.

That I am powerless to overcome that. I feel the same way about my addiction. I am powerless to indulging my diction successfully. I am powerless to do. So, I believe that if I indulging my addiction I cannot predict how long I’m going to do it and what’s going to happen to me when I do it now when I say powerless do I mean that as soon as I take it I’m off to the races right away. Not necessarily depends on the stage of my addiction there was a time I could drink a Friday night and go to work surgery. There was a time I could indulge in other Addictions on a Friday night and go to work on Saturday of the yeah, I could do it maybe once maybe twice, but I couldn’t predict it successfully that this Friday night. That’s what I was going to do this particular Friday night.

I might end up having other kinds of difficulties in jail and Holmes. I ought not to be doing things not do feeling feelings odd not feel I could put dict when it was going to absolutely take me for a ride that I did not want to go on. That’s what I mean by powerlessness means that when I do it, I’m going to continue doing it and it’s going to cause me all kinds of hurt harm and danger and I can’t predict when that’s going to happen. So the first step to me means that I absolutely surrender to that truth. It’s over for me.

I’m not going to fight it anymore. I Surrender I can’t handle it skews me and I know I can and do it. I have proven it to myself through experience that I can handle it. I’m powerless over if I keep jumping in the ring with Mike Tyson and he keeps knocking me out sooner or later. I’ll have to realize that my Redemption will come by not going back into the ring. That’s all-powerless means to me is that I’m going to lay down my addiction. I accept the fact that I can overcome.

And I’m powerless now what helps me to understand that I’m powerless. I look at my life. I see that my life has become unmanageable unmanageable. In other words. I do a sort of inventory of my life. I look at myself spiritually what has my addiction done to me spiritually. What has it done to me when it comes to my connection with other people my connection with a higher power my connection with my family some of that social but it’s also has spiritual Dynamics.

So when I look at my manageability I ask myself has it made me more of who I want to be in the spiritual realm of lesser who I want to be. Am I telling the truth more and my more humble and my more loving and my more giving because of this or has it diminished me in some way in those areas. I look at myself socially the people around me and my more connected to them or less connected to them and my more loving towards them or more resentful towards them. I look at myself.

Socially am I losing jobs or am I gaining employment? What’s happening to me as a result of this addiction anybody can lose a job, but I’m talking about losing the job as a direct result of my addiction. Okay, and I look at myself spiritually. I look at myself socially I look at myself physically what has addiction done to me physically and my bigger because I’m eating too much because of the addiction has my mental capacity.

Honest because of the addiction what has it done to me physically is my body some kind of way had a causing problems because of the addiction what has it done to me physically socially spiritually I can look in all different aspects of my life is my family saying something to me about my addiction or are they not talking to me? Because of my addiction I have to look at all these what has happened to me financially. That’s a big one because usually our dictions

Make inroads into our finances. So what has happened to me financially because of my addiction. Let’s be real about it. Huh? Let’s be real have I actually spent more money than I plan to spend all that could happen to anybody but hasn’t been happening on a recurring basis. Have I been spending more money because of my addiction have I been losing money because of my addiction have I been borrowing money because of my addiction I look at myself financially and see what has it done.

Done to me and as I look at all these different areas of my life. That’s just a small portion of the area’s I look at but as I look at myself even emotionally what has my addiction done to me emotionally, you know, one of the things I think about is that when you have addiction and somebody comes to you and talk to you about it or in some way threatens to take it from you emotionally, you usually become extremely angry extremely angry. You know, somebody doesn’t have a problem with let’s say alcohol

All and you say let’s don’t drink for about a month. I don’t think they get all angry. But alcoholic would tend to say who are you to tell me that I can’t drink who are you to tell me that I need to lay off of it for a month. You see emotionally my addiction does something to me as well. I can look at myself emotionally financially spiritually socially I can look at myself in when it comes to legalities. Am I actually breaking the law for my addiction, or am I?

Same maybe it’s not against the law to do what I’m doing, but I’m hiding maybe I have some Twinkies hit away somewhere if that’s my addiction. Maybe I have some pornography books hit away somewhere if that’s my addiction whatever my addiction is I probably have a stash somewhere and if I’m hiding things to me, that’s show some level of unmanageability. The unmanageability helped me to accept that I was powerless over my addiction and to me that’s the first step. I’ve given up.

For me to try to continue to indulge in my addiction is for me to try to drink arsenic or acid and one of the things I’ve all I’ve always said there are plenty of people who stop their addictive behavior and never even go through the rest of the 12 Steps because they are fairly convinced. They are powerless over their addiction and I think that anybody who thoroughly accepts admits down in there knowing as I would say

that they are powerless over something and they really look at their unmanageability. They will never indulge in an addictive behavior again, if they really mean it they really believe it like I believe drinking arsenic or acid will kill me. You’re not going to get me to do that. Unless you force me to do it some kind of way and when you really believe that you’re powerless over it, I don’t care if your mother died your father died. Your sister died. Your brother died. I don’t care. What happens you

Not going to do it. You know what? I wish you I wish you the revelatory knowledge that allows you to accept.

Defeatism in this area and surrender to the fact that you cannot indulge in your diction. Successfully. It’s all over it’s all over but then again, it’s a paradox. It’s really all just beginning. Peace.