Now we come to step 8 another scary step for many people but step 8 says made a list of all persons. We had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all made a list of all persons. We had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Once again, we pick up pen and pencil as a matter of fact step for might help you as you pick up a pen and pencil to do step 8, so some people burned
After a burn step before after they do a step 5, but other people recommend that you not burning that you hold on to it and that that will help you as you enter into step 8. So as you intend to step eight now you want to make a list of all persons. You have harmed and become at least willing to make amends to them all. Okay. So now you’re writing down a list of the people you have home. Now. Remember this is you doing the people you have home. We’re not talking about the people that arm you we
They may have been wrong to you may have been wrong. But you’re cleaning up your side of the street. So you’re making a list of the people you have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all and God knows that when we are in our addictions. We hung quite a few people one of the biggest lies that people say to themselves is I ain’t hurt nobody but myself this ain’t heard nobody but me my children didn’t even know my family. Didn’t know what I was doing. I always went to work. I was always there for my children’s baseball game.
Mmmmm, I was always there when my daughter dance. Well, you may have been there and not been there at the same time because we can be there physically but not the emotionally but I’m not gonna go into all that. This is this is your writing down the people that you know that you have harmed you’re going to make a list of the people that you have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all used to be a lady in the group. I was in and she used to get up and say those a men’s or something those a men’s all or do.
Amens a hard those amens and I would just laugh because she always had a way of saying amens, but what it highlights to me is the fact that this step does not say become willing to say you’re sorry to them all it says become willing to make amends to them all and making amends is very different than just saying I am sorry. So what we want to do is take the pen and pencil and begin to make that list of those people that we have harmed how have I harmed people in the sexual?
Lorena what have I done how have I harmed people financially have I stolen have I lied have I manipulated how have I harmed people physically have I been in fighting done things are not have done. However harm people are spiritually write that down how have I harmed people in my family have I have a harm people just just by being somewhere as an example. Maybe I was supposed to be a leader. Where did I lead people? I’ll write it down. I get it all down on paper. I make a list of all people. I have harmed and became willing.
Willing to make amends to them all but I’m not going to think about how I’m going to make amends or when I’m going to make amends and which way I’m going to make amends. That’s not what I’m doing right now. I’m just becoming willing to make amends to them all let’s get it down on paper. Let’s write it down. How have I harmed people? What have I done? You see this step again is going to help to free me. This step is going to cause me to become again a part of the human race. This step acknowledges that that that
Even though there was a reason for my misbehavior. There’s no excuse for it. The reason may be that I had a biological imbalance. The reason may be that I have an allergy to reason may be that this disease caused me to do some things that if I didn’t have this disease I wouldn’t do it. Well, you know that reasoning is okay, but I can’t make an excuse for the things I’ve done and act like it didn’t hurt people. Yeah that you know, I am responsible. I’ve heard a lot of people say one of the things about going to a 12-step.
People always saying I am an addict. My name is Dixon. I am an addict in my name is that and as long as they can say that their attic that gives them like, you know a doorway to get away from responsibility. That means well, I’m an addict that’s why I did this and I’m an addict and that’s why I did that but I see it the other way around once you admit what your problem is. You become more responsible for the things you’ve done.
And you need to do something about them. It’s like I heard someone say one time if you come into a doctor’s office not knowing you a diabetic and you go out knowing you’re diabetic with the information telling you how to eat how to take the insolent. You are now more responsible for what happens in your life and in the life of the people that love you so when I came in I Didn’t Know I Was powerless when I came in I didn’t know I had some in the same thoughts when I came in. I didn’t really look at my defects of character, but now that
Me and now I realize I have shortcomings. I realize I have defects of character. I realize that that will come times Well, I may not have a mental defense against my addiction. I realize these things now and now that I realize them I need to write down the people that I have heard and I have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Even the ones that have done something to me because this this is my my 12-step work. Maybe they have some things they need to make some amends about and some things they need to do. That’s not my problem right now. I need to make amends concerning the people I have heard and what I have done I become willing to make amends to them all when I think about a man’s like I said, I think about more than just saying, I’m sorry.
I mean, this is not just about saying I’m sorry. I don’t know if it’s correct interpretation from dictionary but I think about mending something when something is torn apart. You have to mend it back together and bring it together. So to make amends means that I do whatever I can to try to make it right now. Some things will never be right. There’s some things I cannot undo. They are some things that it just can’t be done. It’s impossible. But those things that I can make amends about I try my best to
You know when I was in my addictions, I heard the stepchild of Mines very badly and after years and years and years and Recovery, one of the things that still bothered me was the fact that this step child was hurt deeply and I used to see the stepchild periodically and I would go to him and say, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I’m so sorry. I would go say that to him over and over and over again, but here recently I saw.
Saw the stepchild and I went to him again and I told him specifically some of the things that I had done and then I explained to him how I knew it may have made him feel when I’ve done them and then I said to him if you need me to do anything to help you and your process because of the damage that I have cause I’ll do anything if you get in counseling, I’ll ride hundreds of miles.
So come to your counseling service so we can talk if you need finances. I’ll come to try to help with the finances to help you to deal with whatever it takes as a matter of fact, I’d even stolen some money. And what did I have to do? I had to pay him back with interest to me. That’s what a men’s is about. A man’s is not just going to say I’m sorry immense is doing something about being sorry. They told the old joke about scuse me for saying they say pale face was around the knee.
Native Americans, and he saw that the Native Americans were really Humane really spiritual really loving people and one day he came into the Chiefs TP and he fell down crying. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for what we did to you. I’m so sorry. We took your land in the chief just looked at him and just looked at him and after he got up to Chief said now give us back our land. I’m not going into no political correctness or any such thing is that right now, but I do know that immense means doing more.
More than saying I am sorry and so what I do is I make a list of those people and then I get before my higher power and check out my willingness to make amends and my willing to make amends and from that point. We move on the course to step 9.